


Milestones

by beautifulcheat (Katalyst), ladynox



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alex Manes Deserves Nice Things, Domestic Fluff, F/M, M/M, Maria DeLuca Deserves Nice Things, Maria DeLuca Positive, Michael Guerin Deserves Nice Things, Polyamory, SO MUCH FLUFF, Slice of Life, V Relationships, based after the series, in a well adjusted future
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:21:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25191598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katalyst/pseuds/beautifulcheat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladynox/pseuds/ladynox
Summary: Maria, Michael and Alex have been in a v poly relationship for years. Peacefully cohabiting together. That peace is upended when Maria realizes she's pregnant.
Relationships: Maria DeLuca/Michael Guerin, Maria DeLuca/Michael Guerin/Alex Manes, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 90
Kudos: 85





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A thousand hugs to my wonderful beta beautifulcheat. You are the best!

Alex’s house was a little small for three people, but they made it work and it was cozy. But as Maria looked at the positive pregnancy test in her hand, she knew cozy wouldn’t really cut it anymore.

“Fuck.” She was sitting on the toilet, panties around her ankles, just staring at the two little pink lines in the results window. “Fuck.”

A fucking baby.

Maria had never been sure babies were in her cards. When her mother was 28, she had already been born. At 28, Maria had only just started not-dating Michael. To be honest, with the specter of a degenerative disease hanging over her, it made more sense to focus instead on earning enough monetary success to take care of her mother, to eventually take care of her when she could no longer do it herself. And all she could do was ignore the looming certainty of her future and hope for a deep connection with someone, a love affair for the ages -- or at least for a decade or two.

In the end, it was the correct decision to stop running from her legacy, to embrace her abilities and their terrifying side effects. In doing so, Maria’s whole future opened up before her in ways she’d never imagined. And here was one of them.

“A baby,” Maria whispered, laughing softly in disbelief.

She finally moved to the sink, splashed cool water on her face and looked at herself in the mirror. She grinned at herself in the reflection, eyes shimmering with tears.

“Michael’s gonna flip.”

They’d been together almost five years now, so they had talked about babies, many times. Michael especially had talked about babies. Maybe fostering some kids too. He wanted a big family. Michael had a huge heart full of love and he wanted, he needed, to share that with others. Even with Maria and Alex, his siblings and friends, that boy had just so much love to give.

Alex was more ambivalent. He managed when dealing with children but there was always an undercurrent of discomfort. The parental role didn’t come as easily to him as the one of a defender, protector. Maria privately thought that Alex worried he’d be like his father. She got it, even if she thought it was ridiculous. Maria wished Alex would talk about it. But even after so many years and all the work he had put into himself and progress he had made, Alex had a hard time talking about Jesse Manes.

But Alex had never vetoed children. He even said he’d be ok with them down the road.

Maria really hopes they’ve gone far enough down the road.

* * *

As expected, Michael was ecstatic. He picked Maria up and spun her around the room, then cupped her face in his big, strong hands and kissed her breath away. Held her tight in his arms, swaying and babbling like a baby himself. Alex actually had to swat at Michael so he could have a chance to hug Maria.

“Congratulations,” Alex said warmly, still hugging her as he leaned over to kiss Michael’s cheek.

Maria tried to read Alex. Not just his expression and aura but his mood. Since they were touching, it was easier to do. She could sense apprehension—

Sighing, Alex shifted his gaze slowly away from Michael to Maria. He was looking at her with one of those unfairly perfectly eyebrows arched and expression of patient exasperation, and she knew immediately that she’d been made.

“I mean it,” Alex said, kissing her forehead before adding firmly, “so get out of my head.”

“I’m not in your head,” Maria protested, easing herself out of his emotional space.

She glanced at Michael who seemed close to vibrating, from a combination of excitement over the news and worry over Alex’s feelings on said news. She and Michael had spoken privately about Alex’s ambivalence toward children. Michael, as always, worried too much. Worried that the child he wanted so much would ruin the peace they’ve built here. Alex had left Michael so many times that no matter how many assurances he had since provided (rings, holding hands in public, actual verbal promises), Michael still worried that he’d do something wrong. That Alex will leave. That they both will leave him.

Maria grabbed Michael’s free hand, tangling their fingers together. Alex was holding the other one.

“This is a big change,” Maria pushed.

“Yeah, we’re going to need a bigger house for one.” Alex smiled and Maria laughed.

“You’re right but—”

“It’s ok. I’m happy and excited, Maria. Michael.” Alex looked at Michael now, understanding that Michael was the one that really needed to be reassured.

“It’s not too soon?” Michael asked.

“No.” Alex shook his head. Michael arched an eyebrow. “Ok, I dunno. Maybe? But I don’t think there’s ever going to be a moment where I’m one hundred percent ready.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’m ready either,” Michael offered.

“Yeah no shit,” Alex joked but Michael glared at him.

“Alex,” Maria groaned, rubbing Michael’s arm with her free hand. When would they stop with the defensive humor in emotionally heavy situations? Not in her lifetime.

“Ok I’m sorry,” Alex sighed, kissing Michael’s knuckles. “It’s scary. But I’m really ok with it.” He smiled little against Michael’s hand. “I can’t wait to be the cool uncle to your little psychic curly haired terror.”

Michael pulled Alex closer, holding him so, so tightly. Kissed his hair. Maria could see the way Michael’s aura shifted as he slowly relaxed. This was just the first conversation, Maria knew. There would need to be more. Many more.

“They won’t be a terror,” Michael protested.

Alex snorted. “No child of yours will be anything but.”

Alex kissed the pout off Michael’s face.

* * *

It was Michael who made the suggestion, one night after coming home from working late and finding Alex and Maria sitting on the couch, scrolling through the home listings on Zillow. Michael had settled on Maria’s side, put his arm around her (two weeks in and he already couldn’t stop petting her belly).

She could sense the nervousness from him immediately. But also excitement?

Maria waited.

“How about a ranch?” Michael finally said, after a few minutes. “I hear the Smiths are selling.”

Alex and Maria glanced at each other, surprised. This wasn’t the first time Michael has mentioned wanting to live on a ranch, however. He talked wistfully often enough about working as a ranch hand. About horses and cattle. Helping mares ready to foal and milking cows. Giving riding lessons. Growing their own food. Being completely self-sufficient.

He started a vegetable garden in the backyard three years ago, which he lovingly maintained (and used the vegetables to create new and interesting dishes for Maria and Alex), and he’d been reading about beekeeping. The only reason there wasn’t a hive out back already was because Alex had vetoed the idea. Maria had agreed because there just was not enough space. She wanted to sunbathe without a colony buzzing next to her.

So yeah, the fact that he wanted a ranch wasn’t the surprise. It was more that ranches weren’t exactly cheap.

Of the three of them, Michael earned the least, which obviously stressed him out. He clearly hated feeling like he wasn’t contributing his fair share. They used to talk (fight) about it a lot, although that had lessened now that they had five years to figure out a system that worked for them, for Michael. But still, all the things Michael did around the house felt at least partially transactional in nature.

“A ranch?” Alex asked, opening up a new tab for the ranch listings. A moment later he was looking at the details for the Smith property.

“It’s not too big,” Michael said. Alex hummed in agreement. “Lots of room for kids to run around. And there’s room to have a garden, maybe some horses, apiary, and even a recording studio for Alex.”

Alex hadn’t re-upped the second time he was eligible for discharge. Instead, after years of performing his songs at open mic night at The Pony, Alex had decided to pursue his dream. By then he had already formed a decent following on YouTube. Maria remembered Alex standing in this very same living room, explaining to her and Michael his plan. Nervous, resolute in his decision, and excited, too, because there were music companies interested in his lyrics. Michael had kissed Alex so hard after yelling out finally!

Maria shook off the memory, smiling. “Do I get anything out of this?” She asked. “You best not say the kitchen—”

Michael kissed her. “Pfft. The kitchen is mine. Ya’ll are both terrible cooks.”

Taking offense to that, Maria grabbed a decorative pillow and hit him. It was a weird angle, so it barely grazed him. He laughed and said, not as apologetically as Maria would like “Ok. Ok! Alex is a terrible cook. You’re passable.”

“You’re just going to sit there and take this abuse?” Maria demanded of Alex, who was still doing research on the Smith ranch, looking at acreage information and checking the place out on Google Earth.

“Nothing he’s said is wrong,” Alex replied.

“Thank you, Alex!”

“Traitor!” Maria accused him, hotly.

Alex shrugged. “And you can finally have a real office, Maria. Even a whole room for all your damn shoes.”

“What is this pick on Maria night?” Maria could feel Michael laughing against her, but the tension psychically radiating off him had not eased. She didn’t want to ignore the elephant in the room for too long.

“I love this idea,” Maria said.

“Me too,” Alex said carefully, glancing at them.

“Ranches are expensive,” she finally said.

Michael sighed but he hadn’t let her go. Ok good.

“Yeah they are…” He agreed. “And I know I can’t contribute as much as I’d like towards the down payment. But I want to give this kid everything y’know?”

Maria squeezed his knee. Alex put his laptop down and shifted closer to them, resting his hand on Michael’s shoulder. Maria was bracketed between them and, not for the first time, she felt like the three of them could do anything, as long as they were together.

Michael took a deep breath, exhaled and continued. “I’m also hoping I can make up the difference in labor—”

“Michael, you’re not our servant.” Alex frowned.

“I know. You’ve said,” Michael replied, dryly. “And that’s not what I mean. I mean like managing the ranch. Like we can rent stable space or horses, and I can give riding lessons. We can get chickens. I can increase the size of the garden and with the apiary too, I can set up a little stand. Sell vegetables, eggs and honey on the weekends. And I’ll still have my day job at Sanders’. I know I wouldn’t be contributing nearly enough for a while even after that but—”

“I’m down,” Maria interrupted. Michael had been speaking so fast, close to tripping over his own words, in an attempt to get it all out as fast as possible.

As if they could ever say no.

“Same.” Alex was looking at Michael so fondly. Maria twisted so she could get a look at Michael’s face. He looked stunned, almost disbelieving.

“Good,” Maria said to Alex. “’Cause I want a steady supply of fresh eggs.”

“I just want to be able to walk around the house without tripping over one of your boots,” Alex replied.

“Dick.” Maria shoved him hard with her foot. “Giving me shit about my shoes. How many guitars do you need Alex? You only have two hands.”

Alex opened his mouth to protest, but Maria cut him off. “And don’t you dare bring Michael into this. He only ever uses the one. You have three more. This is before we even take the keyboards into account!” Michael’s face was pressed into her shoulder now, but both Alex and Maria continued bickering instead of making a big deal of the fact that Michael was clearly crying.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stress of buying a home causes trouble in paradise.

Sighing, Maria shut her car door and locked it. Michael and Alex’s cars were in the driveway. So they were home. She wondered if anything had been hashed out between them while she was doing inventory at the Pony. Somehow, she doubted it, and decided it was best to find Alex before confronting Michael. It was likely that Michael was in the house, which more than likely meant Alex was not. She walked around to the back of house.

It was an unseasonably warm January day so when Maria walked onto the patio, Alex was sitting there with his beer and a laptop, barefoot, wearing an old _Panic!_ t-shirt, his favorite grey joggers, and a sour expression. “He acts like a slave,” Alex grumbled by way of hello.

Through the glass of the sliding doors, Maria could see Michael carrying a load of laundry to the washing machine. Adamant though Michael was about giving his child everything, the financial process involved in buying a home stressed him the hell out. This level of stress would have sent the old Michael straight to the Pony looking for trouble. Now, Michael funneled his guilt and shame into extra shifts at the junkyard and doing more than his allotted chores around the house.

Rolling her eyes, Maria sat down in the patio chair next to Alex and wished she were holding a beer instead of a smoothie. “I think the word you’re looking for is neurotic housewife,” Maria replied. Their house was sparkling clean and Maria was fucking exhausted with it. “He feels bad because he can’t be a cosigner.”

Alex hummed and drank his beer, still glowering through the sliding door even though Michael had disappeared into the laundry room.

“Did you talk to him about this morning?” Maria asked.

“No.” Alex took a very long and frustrated pull from his beer bottle. Maria missed alcohol already. Being pregnant was stressful enough without buying a home, an anxious husband, and _his_ grumpy husband on top of that.

That morning, Michael hadn’t accompanied them to the banks they’d chosen to apply for preapproval. After having a long and exhausting discussion about their collective finances, it was decided that Michael’s history would hurt their prospects. And even though Michael had understood that, had agreed to the logic of their plan, Alex’s spreadsheets still had been a hard blow from reality. He’d been sulky for a week before the appointments, leading to rather unpleasant confrontation that morning:  
 _  
_“No, I’m not going,” Michael said in between sips of coffee. That in itself had been a surprise to Maria and Alex, who had been expecting him to come with them. Just because Michael wasn’t going to be on the title didn’t mean he shouldn’t be there throughout the whole process. “Don’t want them to smell poverty wafting off me and ruin your chances.”  
  
“What the hell, Guerin?” Alex demanded, angry but also unsurprised and… resigned. Maria understood, had felt the same way. This was a fight long overdue, but she was hurt nonetheless.

"That’s really un-fucking-fair!” Maria added, annoyed with herself for not mentioning it earlier (one didn’t need psychic abilities to know how stressed Michael has been) but also annoyed with Michael for bottling it up until he exploded. He’d been so good about not doing that, lately.

Michael ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “That was shitty,” he admitted and looked up at them, apologetic. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”  
  
“Yes you did.” Alex couldn’t let it go and Maria couldn’t blame him.

"Yeah you’re right,” Michael sighed. “I love and appreciate you both. This is about is my bullshit. I’m sorry for taking it out on you.”

"We’ll talk about it later,” Maria said, glancing at her watch. She didn’t want to be late for their appointment with the bank. She didn’t even want to be right on time. She wanted to be early.

She did kiss Michael’s temple when she got up let him know she accepted his apology. Alex had done the same before they left.

And now here they were sitting in the patio, stewing, while Michael stress cleaned the house. Again.

Maria turned Alex’s laptop towards her so she could look at it. As expected, the spreadsheets for the Ranch Acquisition Project, as Alex called buying the house, were open. Once the decision had been made to buy the Smith ranch, Alex had gone full Type A. From researching credit unions and banks, to property taxes, to anything else one should know before buying a ranch, Alex Manes was on top of it.

“Are we going to tell him the loan officer thought we were married?” Maria asked.  
  
Alex laughed, which was what she was after. “I’m afraid he'll stick his head in the oven.”

“ _Alex_.” Even as she swatted his arm, Maria laughed. “Well I made an appointment to view the Smith property for this weekend, so that’ll cheer him up. The realtor also wants to show us a couple more ranches for sale, and I agreed. Why not?”

“Did you—”  
  
“Yes, I’ve already asked her for the addresses.” Maria rolled her eyes. Alex was so predictable. “She said she’d email them to me. I’ll forward it to you the minute I get it so you can start researching.”  
  
“Thanks,” Alex said, throwing his good leg across Maria’s thighs, and Maria took the opportunity to rub his calf, since he always carried a lot of tension there.  
  
“Roast will be ready in an hour do you want anything until then?” Michael asked, poking his head out to look at them.  
  
“For you to grab a beer and sit with us,” Alex said immediately.  
  
“Come on babe,” Maria said when Michael looked like he was about protest. “That thing will cook itself and I know you’ve done everything on the chore list.” Maria arched an eyebrow at him and Michael flushed.   
  
“Okay. Let me grab a beer.” He disappeared into the house and some of the tension left Alex’s shoulders. Maria wanted to remind Alex to relax, that sometimes it’s best to let Michael be, tire himself out. Wanted to remind him that Michael was always his own worst enemy. But she wasn’t responsible for their relationship.  
  
Michael sat down and fiddled with the label on the beer. Maria sipped her smoothie and Alex his beer. Finally, Michael sighed, “I’m so sorry again for this morning.”  
  
Maria met Alex’s eyes before they looked at Michael who was looking them both anxiously. Neither of them said anything and Maria was glad she and her best friend were on the same page.  
  
“I know it’s no excuse for being an asshole,” Michael was forced to continue. “Especially when you guys are being so amazing—”  
  
“Michael, you know I don’t like this burden talk,” Maria interrupted. This conversation was like a well-worn path.

Michael exhaled, annoyed with himself.

“I hate that my name’s not going to be on the title,” Michael admitted, finally. “I know it doesn’t mean shit. I know that it’s just like how we’re married even if it’s not legal, I still hate it. I hate it because it reminds me of all the stupid ass decisions I made because I was a fucked up, angry kid. I’m angry at myself and I lashed out and I’m sorry.”  
  
That was a lot of feelings at once, Maria had to admit. So neither of them said anything until Michael gulped down his beer. It gave them all a little time to process.

“Just a poor mental health day,” Michael added afterward, echoing Alex. Only unlike Alex, Michael refused to see a therapist, citing his extraterrestrial secrets as reason to not go. 

While Maria was still figuring out how best to express her thoughts, Alex took Michael’s hand and kissed his knuckles, then rested his cheek against them, looking at Michael, who smiled beatifically in response. It was silly, especially because it hasn’t always done them well, but sometimes Maria couldn’t help but be a little jealous at how good they were at nonverbal communications. Well without the use of psychic abilities.  
  
“Hey, I’m sorry too,” Maria said. Michael was about to protest but Maria didn’t let him, barreling through. “I should have—”  
  
“We should have,” Alex succeeded in interrupting her and piggybacking off what she was about to say. The lazy bastard.

“We should have talked about it more than we did,” Maria was finally allowed to finish.  
  
“Nah—No really. It’s fine. This plan makes sense.” Michael reached out for her with his free hand. She grabbed it. Squeezed it. “Let’s not swap blame around ok?”  
  
“Ok,” Maria agreed. “But I’m still going to check in on you more often. Alex too.” Maria was not doing all the emotional labor, damnit.  
  
“Me too,” Alex agreed. “But, Michael, please, just say how you feel sooner. All this cooking and cleaning—”  
  
“I’m not going to stop,” Michael flat out said and glared at them because they were about to protest. “Yes part of it is this transactional issue but keeping busy also helps keep my mind off of it.” Maria reminded herself that the fact that he could admit that now was a huge victory for him, and a result of all the hard work he had done on himself before and after they started dating. “Can’t just sit around playing the guitar all day.”

Michael slouched back in his chair, fiddled with the empty beer bottle. “But yeah, I know I should have said something earlier. Thing is… we’ve been so happy and I didn’t want to ruin the mood with my bullshit.”

“Baby, buying property is stressful as hell,” Maria said. “And I can’t even drink this time around. So – I for one would be totally down for a bitch fest anytime.”

Ah, there was that smile she liked so much. Michael sat up and leaned forward, kissing her, gratitude coming off him in waves.

* * *

“Sorry I’m late,” Michael said as Maria, freshly showered and energized after an hour at the gym, slipped into the passenger side of his truck. “I couldn’t find my sweater.”

Michael was giving her a reproachful look. So Maria looked at what he was wearing—a maroon knitted sweater with a couple of brass colored buttons at the collar. She loved the color on him and how soft it made him look. She also knew exactly where he must have found it. 

“It was cold a couple days ago!” Maria explained, defensively.  
  
“ _Right_.” Michael started the engine. “I also found the cardigan Alex got me for Christmas and a pair of jeans in your closet, Maria. Those aren’t even my jeans!”  
  
“Excuse you!” Maria huffed. “They’re Alex’s.”  
  
“I know they’re Alex’s, you gremlin!” Michael shot back. No heat. This was a well-worn argument. Now he was going to mention her abundance of clothes. “You have a ton of clothes!” And compare himself to a prospector. “But I’m still excavating men’s clothing in that pit of yours!” Oh this time he decided to make fun of how she keeps her room.

“You have plenty of clothes now. You’re not going to miss one sweater.”

“And a cardigan.”  
  
“And a cardigan.”  
  
“And likely that pack of t-shirts’ I’ve been trying to find.”  
  
“No, that’s not me. You haven’t worn them yet. I don’t want them until you’ve worn them.” It wasn’t just about style, though she did enjoy mixing and matching women and men’s clothes. It was about Michael’s scent—petrichor and motor oil—when he was out working late or sleeping with Alex that night. It was about the comfort of the heavy weight of his cardigan around her shoulders when work was extra frustrating.

“Can’t say I don’t appreciate the honesty,” Michael said dryly. Though she could tell he was trying not to flush. He still had a really hard time accepting any kind of compliments.

Michael turned onto the road that lead to the hospital. “How was the workout, babe?”  
  
“Good,” Maria replied. “Lisa and I are still working on a modified training program for the pregnancy. But for now, I still feel comfortable doing what I normally do.” Maria had started doing more resistance training in addition to yoga and cardio about a year and half ago because she’d read that it was good for osteoporosis, and she’d gotten addicted, gotten a trainer, and now she used weights she wouldn’t have dreamed of touching before.

“Oh good because Alex is going to chuck his dresser and it’s heavy so—”  
  
Maria laughed. “You can move stuff with your brain you lazy shit.”

“Yeah but the benefit of being married to She-Hulk is that I don’t have too.” Maria rolled her eyes, swatting his arm with her hand. He laughed and parked.

“I see you’ve been watching cartoons with Alex again.” Alex, being the huge nerd he is, had recently downloaded all the old 90s Marvel cartoons he and Greg use to watch as kids together. 

“Yeah they’re kind of stupid to be honest,” Michael said and shrugged. “But he really likes them. And I’ve gotten to hear a lot of stories from when he was a kid. Like how he and Greg use to spend hours at the library going through their catalogue of X-Men comics and quizzing each other’s esoteric comic book knowledge.”

“Such a nerd,” Maria laughed.

“I knew what I was getting into when I married him.”

Once they were out of the truck, Michael took her hand and together they walked into the hospital. They were there to see Kyle for her first doctor’s appointment since confirming the pregnancy.  
  
Thankfully Maria was more human than alien, so the doctors never noticed anything strange when Mimi was pregnant. But this time around, the father was full alien. The change in percentage was enough to make everyone angsty and Kyle was recruited as OBGYN despite reminding everyone that he was a vascular surgeon.  
  
“I’m sorry for putting this on you, Kyle,” Maria said during brunch with Team Human. Maria had just broken the news about the pregnancy. “I know we ask so much from you as it is but if this kid comes out with glowing organs or something—”

“Hey. Hey,” Kyle said, squeezing her hand. “I got your back. Don’t worry.”

“Don’t worry Kyle. I’ll help.” Liz clapped her hand on his shoulder.

“You’re not an obstetrician either, Liz.” Kyle huffed, exasperated. “You’re not even a medical doctor!"  
  
"Out of the two of us, who has had half alien babies?" Liz reminded, which was a fair point. She and Max had two healthy, human passing girls.   
  
"You're still a mad scientist," Kyle said stubbornly when he caught the speculative gleam in Liz’s eyes as she looked at Maria’s flat belly. Liz, at least, had the good sense to look a little ashamed when Maria arched an eyebrow at her. Just a little ashamed though. This was Liz they were talking about here.

As Kyle and Liz continued to bicker, Maria was suddenly glad for her friends. Sure, unlike her mom, she had Michael and Alex. She wasn’t alone. But Michael and Alex were her life partners and those weren’t the same as friends.

* * *

The ultrasound gel was cold on her belly. She shivered a little, causing Michael to lean closer to her, taking her hand and twining their fingers together. He was radiating nervousness and fear as much he usually radiated heat. Maria tilted her head away from what Kyle was doing to look at Michael, his plush bottom lip caught in between his teeth, honey brown eyes focused intently on the screen as Kyle pointed out her bladder, the amniotic fluid and then her uterus.

“Okay there’s the baby,” Kyle said, pointing to a greyish blob surrounded by darkness. “This is the beginnings of an arm. Here’s the head.” Maria found it hard to imagine that that was going to be a person, her child. No matter how hard she looked, she couldn’t see the little nodes that would one day be limbs. She couldn’t even really see much of a head. It was just all one amorphous lump, like a tiny soft grey turd, she thought unkindly, and wondered if there was something wrong with her. Did Mimi DeLuca look at fetus Maria and compare her to a turd?

Maria forced herself to focus on what Kyle was saying. Healthy. She was relieved to hear that the baby’s development was good for this stage (whatever that means for a mostly alien baby). Maria could feel Michael really breathe for the first time since they walked into the room. He’d been fine until they stepped inside the hospital. After that he had started bouncing his leg in the waiting room and broadcasting worry to any psychic within a twenty-mile radius.

Maria hadn’t addressed it. Instead she let him hold her close even if it made texting difficult with all the jiggling. Maria understood the sudden shift in him. Reality had hit Michael in the waiting room, even though the pregnancy still felt unreal to Maria. It still felt more like a happy dream or a fantasy. No matter the blood test confirming it or the very real stress and drama of buying the ranch, it still felt like she was lying in the back of Michael’s Chevy wistfully sharing What ifs about their future. What if we moved in together? What if we had children? Maybe foster? What if it was _ours_?

“Judging by the size, it’s about 8 weeks old…” Kyle paused to calculate. “So that puts the due date close to September.”

“September.” Michael smiled and kissed Maria’s temple. “Is that even enough time…” Michael flushed, aware instantly that was a dumb thing to say. It was cute as hell though. “I mean…”

“Eviction notice is already up, babe,” Maria chuckled, squeezing his hand. Michael pressed a kiss into her hair, chuckling. His whole aura had changed. Warm and happy, excited, and so hopeful. Maria pulled his hand to her lips, kissed his knuckles.

“We’re almost done,” Kyle said and checked her ovaries on the ultrasound. He took some screenshots of those and then some screenshots of the fetus. “Last thing. Just need to measure the heartbeat.”  
  
Kyle clicked something on the ultrasound machine and the room was filled with her baby’s heartbeat. For a moment, Maria forgot to breathe, transfixed by the mechanically distorted _thwump thwump_ of the tiny life growing inside her.

 _This is really happening,_ Maria thought, looking at that little grey blob on the screen. It was still as grey and shapeless as before, but beneath her child was a graphic of their little heartbeat. Moving so fast. But it was the sound that overwhelmed her. Made her heart feel like it was swelling in her chest. Her eyes began to mist.  
  
“180 bpm,” she heard Kyle say over the rhythm of her baby’s life. Kyle smiled at the both of them. “That’s within normal limits.”

Maria’s laugh was watery and shaky. She looked at Michael who looked close to tears himself. His eyes shiny and full of love as he looked down at her. She sat up, reached for him and he came to her easily. They kissed – and she was sure it tasted like tears because she was crying now. Not sobbing. But the tears were flowing because she was so overwhelmed with wonder and love and so much happiness. Those feelings had to come out somehow.   
  
This was really happening. Really, really happening.  
  
All those things she thought she’d never have—a life, a love of that life, a family…that little bit of life and love growing inside her—it was real.

Maria was going to be a mom.  
  
Michael sat down next to her, gathered her up in his arms and held her tight. She heard Kyle say something as the door opened and closed behind him. She didn’t know what he said. All she could focus on was the smell of rain and the warmth of Michael’s embrace, and the softness of his lips on her tear damp cheeks.  
  
“I can’t believe this is happening,” Maria confided. “Never in my wildest dreams…”  
  
Michael kissed her again. Slowly. Sweetly. His forehead resting on hers after.  
  
“I know.” There was wonder in his voice too. But also joy, amazement, and that same disbelief that she felt. “I know.” His eyes were bright with emotion and there was nothing sharp about his smile. Maria was sure she’d never seen him quite so hopeful.

Lord, Michael was so beautiful.  
  
“I love you so much,” Michael murmured against her mouth after another kiss. “And I love this baby. And I love that I get to start a family with you and Alex. And never in my wildest dreams…” Michael started to laugh because Maria was pulling him into another kiss, a little deeper this time. Maria opened herself up psychically to him, because she needed Michael to feel in this moment how much she loved him. How happy she was. That it wasn’t just Michael who couldn’t believe his luck. Everything she was feeling. Everything she was too overwhelmed to say out loud, she laid bare for him.

Michael pulled her impossibly closer, pressed his face into her neck like he wanted to graft himself to Maria, who felt so warm in his arms, still wrapped up in the flow of his emotions. She knew that Michael had never minded the few times she’s done this before. He was more comfortable with it than even she was and more eager to try it with her. She had noticed that it was easier for him to communicate his feelings nonverbally.

But also, she suspected, it made it easier for him to accept her feelings and be less defensive about them when he was presented with the raw essence of them. Which is probably why she insisted on verbal communication. She found raw feelings to be kind of overwhelming. Even now, happy as she was, wrapped up in both their love and happiness it was edging on a lot. So she eased back a little.  
  
“I’m going to make you so happy.”  
  
“You already have, dummy.”  
  
“I was talking to the baby.”

“Idiot.”  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today they go view the house.

The gentle strumming of Michael’s guitar floated into the bathroom. Maria was finishing up with her hair—a half ponytail—adjusting one last curl to her liking. She smiled, humming along with the tune as she washed off the residual product from her hands.

“So sentimental,” she murmured to herself fondly. 

That song. 

She remembered the night clearly, which was saying something considering how drunk they’d been. Laughing, they stumbled through Roswell Park at night, teasing Michael about how he kept falling asleep on their couches. When was the last time he saw the Airstream?

And then coming across a pair of street musicians playing a John Legend song, Alex pulled Maria into a swaying dance. The singer, a woman, had a sweet voice, low and husky. 

“Oh is this what we’re doing now?” Maria had laughed.

“This is what we’re doing now,” Alex replied, with a kind of calm openness Maria wasn’t used to seeing in him. She liked it. Alex wore it well. 

“Ok but you’re missing a dance partner!” Maria chuckled and before Michael could step away, she grabbed his hand, yanking him back to her, pressed him against her side. 

“Maria,” Michael sighed, put upon. He didn’t consider himself much of a dancer (he wasn’t entirely wrong), so he tended to avoid dancing as much as possible.

“You can sway with us,” Maria had told him stubbornly. Alex made room for him, wrapping an arm around Michael’s waist. Maria remembered clearly the way Michael’s expression went soft from that. At the time, neither of them were used to Alex being publicly demonstrative. Alex wasn’t entirely used to it either, but he’d been making an effort. For Michael. 

Maria remembered swaying with them. Her head on Alex’s shoulder, her hand in the back pocket of Michael’s jeans. Alex’s wrist crossed over hers as his hand slipped into Michael’s other back pocket. She remembered the soft rumble of Michael’s laughter.

“We should move in together,” Michael had murmured and then realizing what he said, tried to laugh it off but Alex had jumped on it.

“My place is the biggest,” he said.

“The three of us aren’t sharing a bed are we?” Maria asked, frowning. 

“Rather not,” Alex replied and pulled away just long enough to spin Michael because—

“Guys, I was kidding you don’t have too—”

\--he had been sputtering, unsure and shocked that his joke had suddenly turned into a serious conversation, and Alex had wanted him to stop. Maria too.

“I’ll move my rig into my bedroom,” Alex continued through the spin. “Convert the office into your bedroom. Maria can have the spare room.”

“I don’t need a room,” Michael had protested. It seemed to Maria like Michael was trying to make himself smaller, less of an intrusive presence. 

Maria pulled him out of Alex's arms and led him through a few easy steps. He wasn’t as bad a dancer as he thought -- wasn’t a great lead but he could follow very well. “Bullshit. You very much need your own room.”

“I’ll be sleeping in your rooms most of the time,” Michael continued to protest. Maria was pleased that he’d stopped denying that he wanted this at least. 

“Still need your own space,” Alex replied, slipping in between them. They easily arranged themselves back into their original positions. “No arguing about it.”

“Ok.” Michael had finally relented, tugging them closer. He kissed Maria and then, ridiculously, hesitated before kissing Alex. So much insecurity and Maria could not blame him. Even without the baggage that he had, or he and Alex had, moving in together was such a big step. One where they had no other example to follow. The three of them had to make their own path. 

And now, today, they were going to view their possible future home. A place to raise a child…

After quickly drying off her hands, she stepped out of the steamy bathroom and into the hall, making her way to the living room where she found Michael. His eyes were closed and face relaxed as he played _Conversations in the Dark_. 

He was seated in the dark blue accent chair bracketed by the light brown floating shelves that were home to so many of Michael’s house plants--pothos, hoya compacta, cacti, snake plants… all names she knew now because she was involved with a plant addict.

Which reminded her...

Sentimental as he was making her, the moment was too good to pass up. Wiping out her cellphone, she pulled up Instagram and started a new story. It was still early in the morning so Michael was bathed in the warm light of the rising sun, turning his curls into a golden halo. And was it her imagination or did it seem like the plants on the shelves were leaning a little closer to him?

As always when Michael played, he looked at utter peace. Head bent, curls covering his eyes so all she could see was the slightly crooked line of his nose and his parted plush pink lips. With him bathed in natural light like this, he looked an angel in repose. _Ugh you're so corny DeLuca_ , she thought to herself. Michael had turned her into an utter sap.

She stopped recording when he noticed her, added a few music note emoji and uploaded it to his Instagram account, _get_along_lil_garden._ It was an account that she’d made for him about a year ago. They’d been in the garden, Michael had turned to her, holding a bunch of tomatoes from his first harvest. Big ones, wonky and weird shaped, and still a shade on the underripe side. But his eyes were bright with pride and he’d been shirtless that day. In just his hat and jeans, and inspiration (horniness, Alex had said later) had struck.

“How about _junkyard kitten_?” Maria remembered suggesting to Michael while he continued to harvest tomatoes.

“Sure, if you want a divorce,” Michael had replied blandly.

“You’re no fun,” Maria laughed, snapping a few more pictures.

Michael had largely ignored the account’s existence ever since. It was Maria who kept his two hundred followers up-to-date on the ongoings of the Guerin garden (though he did enjoy giving gardening lessons and doing Q&As). Alex believed the follower count was due largely in part to horniness too, since Michael had an aversion to gardening with a shirt on. 

With it being the colder months, there were only so many photos of Michael taking care of indoor plants that she could post. But going by the number of likes popping up, no one seemed to mind a musical interlude. 

Michael looked up at her, and it was clear by his expression he guessed what she’d been doing. “You know, I made coffee,” Michael said, exasperated as he set the guitar down in the little stand next to the chair. The guitar was the same color as the shelves, which went nicely with the teal of the wall. All Michael’s doing. Maria had been pleasantly surprised to learn he had an eye for interior design. Though it had taken some time before he felt comfortable enough to start altering (improving upon, if you asked Maria) Alex’s utterly lazy minimalist grayscale motif.

“Coffee,” Alex groaned sleepily, emerging from his bedroom, walking passed her, and making a beeline for the kitchen. He was dressed but his hair was still mussed from sleep. He moved around with his eyes barely open, pouring himself a mug and gulping it down, heedless of how hot it was.  
  
“Long night I guess,” Michael said to Maria, putting an arm around her and kissing her hair. She leaned against him, watching Alex pour himself another cup of steaming coffee. 

Alex had taken on some freelance programming work recently, citing the fact that it never hurt to have a little extra cash around when buying a home. When Michael and Maria went to bed last night Alex had still been hunched over his laptop, with the kind of focused expression that they both knew meant he was best left alone.  
  
Michael shook his head, likely regretting that choice now. “What time did you go to bed last night?”  
  
“Where are my keys…?” Alex asked instead of answering Michael. Well he was awake enough to deflect it seemed. Maria and Michael exchanged exasperated glances. Probably only slept an hour then.  
  
“Uh uh,” Maria said and Michael said at the same time, “I’ll make more coffee.” 

Michael headed into the kitchen while she ushered Alex back towards the bathroom. “You comb your hair and brush your teeth,” she told him. “Michael’s driving.” 

* * *

“If you’ll just give me a moment, I need to take this.” The realtor, a heavy set woman in her early forties with thick framed glasses and dark brown hair, gave them an apologetic look before stepping out into the hall leaving Maria and Alex alone in the master bedroom.

“Have you seen Michael?” Maria asked as Alex tipped his head back, sucking up the last dredges of coffee in the tumbler Michael had prepared for him. He napped on the drive to the Smith’s ranch so he was a lot more alert now. 

“Last time I saw him he was using a pen knife to pull up a corner of carpeting in the living room.” Alex shook his head, amused. At Maria’s bewildered expression, Alex explained, “Probably checking to see if it’s hardwood under that gross carpet.”

“That carpet is gross,” Maria agreed, pinching the bridge of her nose. That didn’t mean she wanted Michael tearing anything up before they put in an offer. She stepped out into the hall, thinking it best to find Michael and doing her level best to ignore the troweled walls.  
  
“These people have such bad taste,” Alex commented, following her. 

“I had no idea they were so gaudy!” Maria agreed. “Bill Smith’s a regular at the Pony. Nothing about him is ostentatious.” She had been expecting the house to have a more ranch aesthetic— earth tones, rustic interior design with unfinished wood furniture, maybe a few animal trophies. Instead it was all black toilets and red walls, Corinthian pillars at the entrance inside the house, giant gold crosses and dark Victorian-esque furniture. It was like a slap in the face finding décor like that in New Mexico.

Still the house itself was perfect. Spacious. Six bedrooms and five and half bathrooms. There was a porch, a lovely patio, which came with a large gorgeous stainless steel grill, and a deck. A fireplace in the living room _and_ the den. She was in love with the brick there. The kitchen was large but the dining room was oddly small. Maria already had so many ideas. And Michael did too, going by what Alex saw him doing.

“If you have any questions about structure, you can ask, Mr. Guerin. You don’t need to—”

“I like checking the pipes myself,” they heard Michael respond. Maria and Alex hurried toward the kitchen.

“Michael,” Maria said exasperated and a little embarrassed.

“Guess we won’t need an inspector,” Alex said dryly. The realtor perked up at that. Inspectors meant offers after all. 

“Nah, someone should check the electrical system,” Michael said, pulling his head out from under the sink and wiping a little grease off his nose. It was both adorable and frustrating. “I mean I think it’s ok but I’m not an electrician and I don’t have code memorized. Structurally the house looks good though. Checked the water heater and the pipes, they look good too. Just need to check the roof.” 

“Have you even looked at the house?” Maria asked, hands on her hips.  
  
“Yeah...” Michael shrugged. “Kinda hard not too while looking for water damage.” 

In reaction to Maria’s responding frown, Michael quickly latched on to the realtor, asking her about the granite kitchen counters. Alex squeezed her shoulder, chuckling.  
  
“I don’t think it’s funny at all,” she said quietly. 

“At least he knows what he’s talking about,” Alex reminded her. She nodded reluctantly and took a moment to peek at Michael’s mood. Sure enough, anxiety was threaded through his excitement. There it was, the desire to be useful. To be worth it. She told Alex.

“Yeah I figured as much.” Alex slipped his hands in his pocket. “You’re always reminding me to take it easy on him when he’s anxious. I know it’s a little embarrassing but I think you should take your own advice.”  
  
“It’s not really about the embarrassment,” Maria admitted after a moment. “He’s our husband and this is the first house we’re buying together. He shouldn’t just wander off.”  
  
“You’re adorable,” Alex teased. 

Maria felt her cheeks warm. “Don’t be an ass.”  
  
“I’m not!” She gave him a look. “Ok maybe I am but only a little. You’re sweet. It’s sweet. Yes, it would be nice if he was with us when we walked into that blood red bathtub. Grossed out expressions are always more powerful in triplicate.”  
  
Maria almost gagged just thinking about it. “It’s like someone was murdered in there.”  
  
“It’s a good thing there are four other bathrooms to choose from.” Alex was shaking his head in amused disgust. 

“I think you might be right about the house needing to be exorcised,” Maria laughed.  
  
“It’s getting exorcised. The price is good but not dealing with demons good.”  
  
“You know horror movies are just movies.”  
  
“The scar I still have from that creep shoemaker’s awl says differently,” Alex said and Maria couldn’t deny his point. “No child of yours is gonna live in a haunted house.”

“Our kid,” Maria corrected, not for the first time. She could sense the conflict in him. Alex was feeling just as soppy and sentimental about viewing this house with Michael, with his husband. And his queer platonic partner. But it was reigned in by uncertainty and apprehension. It was like Alex was walking along the outskirts of their joy. Maria knew she probably needed to talk about it with him. She’d been a little too focused on hers and Michael’s stress and anxiety, and not Alex’s.

It’s so easy to do, she thinks as Alex puts an arm around her shoulder, giving it a squeeze before leading her after Michael and the realtor, who were heading to the barn to check out the horses the Smiths were selling along with the farm. 

Alex was their rock; always there for them to lean on. Maria looked at him, taking in his calm and relaxed expression. They’ve been best friends for decades and sometimes it was still hard to break through his facade to read him without her psychic abilities. He did it on purpose, she knew that. The best way to get people to ignore your issues was to be the mom friend. She felt guilty for letting herself fall into that trap.

She almost brought it all up, right then and there but just then Michael called out, excitedly, “Aw is that a barn cat? I love calicos! And she has kittens!”  
  
“Ugh, no way,” Alex groaned and told Maria firmly, “You stay here. Don’t want you catching toxoplasmosis from some stupid feral cats.”  
  
All Maria could do was roll her eyes -- when she tried to keep walking, Alex stopped her and wagged a serious finger at her before hurrying towards the barn. Maria was left cursing mentally over overprotective anxious partners and what the fuck was toxoplasmosis anyway?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria's dealt with a lot of difficult problems in her life. Pregnancy really isn't that big a deal, guys.

Maria wasn’t feeling so hot. She woke up with a headache and a very mild fever but didn’t think much of it. Attributing the symptoms to an incoming cold (it was still winter, after all), she got out of bed and went through her morning routine. The bar wasn’t going to open itself. 

Thankfully it was Monday, a slow day. But there was still plenty to do. Payroll, planning the Single’s Night event, interviewing a new bouncer, and she had to call her suppliers…

With a mid-morning rise time, Maria was usually the last one up. Alex’s bedroom door was closed, she noticed as she stepped out of the bathroom. But she could hear him working. He had a keyboard that made very loud and annoying (satisfying, he would say) clicking sounds when the keys were struck. But at least she usually knew when he was doing some freelance work so she could leave him alone. 

Michael was likely at the junkyard, but that wasn’t exactly a sure thing. Now that the offer on the ranch had been accepted, Michael had started doing a lot of odd jobs. He’d been hustling so hard, Maria had joked last night that he was starting to make her look bad. 

“Please,” Michael had said, pausing in putting her hair up in a headscarf to kiss her temple. “I am just a young hustler padawan still learning from the master.”

She loved this dweebie side Alex was cultivating in Michael. It somehow made him even cuter. And to Maria, Michael was already pretty damn cute and sweet, so that was saying something.

Smiling to herself, she grabbed her jar of overnight oats from the fridge and hurried off to the Pony. 

* * *

The call with Tony, her liquor supplier, had gone well even if it had taken longer than normal. Tony was not as good a haggler as she was but the mounting headache had put them on more even ground. However, her endless perseverance (pigheadedness, Michael would correct with a small, fond smile) and tenacity had prevailed. She got a good discount on a new up-and-coming brand of tequila as long as she also picked up a few crates of wine that had been sitting around his warehouse for too long. That will be perfect for Single’s Night anyway. 

She was starving though. Her breakfast sitting untouched inside her purse. Once Maria arrived at the Pony, she found an email from Anna calling out sick, and by the time she’d found another bartender to cover, it was time to call Tony. And since that call ran long, it was time to interview the new bouncer. At least that was quick and easy. But by then, it was time to open the bar and a few regulars trickled in which she had to take care of until Luke was able to get into cover for Anna. 

Despite the headache, Maria was doing fine. Still starving. But what was more troubling was how the scent of beer made her queasy in a way it never did before. Maria took a breath and kept on keeping on. _There’s stuff to do, DeLuca, and no one else is going to do it for you._

She was the master of her body, not the other way around. 

Her laptop was propped up on the bar and she was trying to focus on finishing payroll between servings when some tourists walked in. Since Saturn’s Ring didn’t open until five, it wasn’t that rare a sighting this early in the afternoon. 

“Do you serve food?” The tourist asked after ordering a few beers and a cocktail. 

“No.” Maria had to force down a gag as the sweet scent of orange wafted from the Angostura Bitters bottle she opened for the cocktail. Her stomach roiled and she almost didn’t say, “but we don’t mind outside food.” 

“Great thanks! Keep the tab open.” Exactly what she wanted to hear.   
  
Things were ok for a while after that. Luke arrived and she was finally able to finish up payroll. Things had finally settled down, Maria hoped.   
  
“You ok, boss?” Luke asked after serving the tourist another round of drinks. “You’re looking kinda pale.”   
  
“Hmm? No, I'm fine. Just a bit of a headache. Nothing serious.”   
  
Understating her condition must have pissed off the universe because a moment later, one of the tourists returned with a box of chicken wings from the BBQ joint next door. The box was closed but the scent of fried meat and sweet and spicy sauce still assaulted her senses and she felt her stomach violently protest.   
  
The experience was not unlike when she had a vision, in that she seemed to disconnect from the present time. She was solely focused on how much her stomach seemed to want to exit through her mouth and how much she would prefer that it didn’t. 

Nothing outside of these very pressing internal sensations mattered. 

When she returned to reality, she was bent over a toilet in the women’s bathroom. 

All that came up was a little bile since she hadn’t eaten yet. Mostly she was just dry heaving, which was a torture all it’s own. Once the heaving subsided, she groaned, dropping down to the floor and leaning against the walls of the stall. 

“Maria?” The sound of Max’s voice startled her. She could hear him stepping into the bathroom. Shutting the door behind him. “I really hope there are no other women in here,” he added to himself, his footsteps drawing nearer and stopping in front of her stall. She hadn’t shut the door in her mad rush to the toilet so she looked up at Max from her position on the floor.  
  
Max being at the bar wasn’t a surprise. Even with Arturo helping to wrangle the twins, the bar was a quieter place to write than his house. Max was usually at the bar in the afternoons, before it got busy, working on a blog post or his novel. 

Great, so he arrived just in time to see Maria make a mad dash for the bathroom like a drunk party girl after one too many shots of tequila. 

“Need some water?” Max asked, offering her a pint glass full of water. “Morning sickness is a bitch.”   
  
“Oh…” Maria actually smacked her forehead with her palm and regretted it instantly. Her head felt like it was about to split open. It took a moment before she could say, “shit, I forgot that’s a thing.”   
  
Max chuckled, pushing the cup into her hands. “Let me guess, you also tend to forget that you're pregnant.” 

“It’s been a very easy first trimester,” Maria said defensively, not that she had much of an idea of what a first trimester was supposed to be like. Admittedly, she hadn’t done as much research as she probably should have. She had an awareness of morning sickness from movies (mostly) and the little reading she did here and there before falling asleep. But really aside from doing whatever Kyle told her, she’d been incredibly focused on the Pony and on buying a new house. And the baby, until today, had been very accommodating. “And I’ve had a lot to do.”   
  
“You sound just like Liz.” Max laughed, warmly, and sat down. “Workaholics. Pushing yourselves too hard.”   
  
“I’m pregnant, Max. Not incapacitated. My mom worked while she was pregna--”   
  
“It’s like listening to a Liz script voiced by Maria DeLuca.” Max raised his hands in surrender but there was this amused quirk to his lip that Maria threw a suspicious eye at. “Relax. I know. Trust me.” And of course he did. Max and Liz had been through this before though they hadn’t been in Roswell at the time. 

In an effort to not glare at Max, Maria took a couple sips of water. It was cool and soothing. She finished the rest of the glass in one gulp. 

“I bet you haven’t eaten anything today…” Max guessed.   
  
Annoyed, Maria said, “Look, ok, I brought oatmeal from home. I just haven’t had a chance to eat it yet.” 

“It is oddly busy today.” Max nodded, not looking at all judgmental which eased some of Maria’s annoyance. “Are you feeling like puking right now?” 

Maria shook her head.   
  
“Ok.” He stood up and offered her his hand. “Let’s see if we get something in your belly. Regular snacking helps. I used to pack granola bars in all of Liz’s purses all the time ”

After sitting down for about twenty minutes and finishing her oatmeal, Maria did feel better. The headache had downgraded to just an annoyance and her stomach wasn’t roiling anymore. Though she and Max had been hiding in her small office, away from fried chicken wings and sweet smelling cocktails. 

“I’m so sorry Max,” Maria said, embarrassed. 

“Stop apologizing to me for helping you,” Max laughed. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. This stuff happens.”  
  
“I forgot about morning sickness,” Maria groaned, frustrated with herself. She settled back in her office chair, which was honestly starting to become more uncomfortable as her pregnancy progressed. Great, another problem. “That’s like pregnancy 101. It’s in all the movies.”   
  
“Liz thought morning sickness was overhyped in movies,” Max said instead arguing. “For the drama. Apparently all the women in her family had really easy pregnancies. Blamed my alien genes for a totally normal thing pregnant people experience.” He rolled his eyes at the end.   
  
Maria grinned. “I think Liz was on to something. This is entirely Guerin’s fault.”   
  
“Last I checked,” Max began, rolling his eyes again. “Michael’s not the only one providing alien DNA to your sweet bundle of love.”   
  
Maria had to concede that. “I should probably talk to Liz about her pregnancy.”   
  
“Why haven’t you? Liz has been curious.”

Maria glanced away, guiltily. “Been busy.” Max did not look convinced. “I _have_ been busy, Max.” She glared at him until he nodded in acknowledgement. “But…. Look I love her but your wife’s a bit of a mad scientist.”  
  
Liz had accompanied Maria to one prenatal visit and had driven Kyle and Maria up the wall. Maria didn’t doubt her friend’s genuine concern for her well being and her baby’s, but some of those tests Liz had wanted to do (tests Maria had never even heard of and that sounded so ridiculous they almost seemed made up) were definitely more about the pursuit of knowledge and less about prenatal care. Liz had learned very painful and terrifying lessons at Genoryx; she would never do anything to put Max and his siblings at risk like that again, but Liz Ortecho would always be a scientist and a brilliant one at that. Her curiosity was tempered at best.   
  
“No shit,” Max laughed. “We planned on having the babies at home with a midwife so she felt it was necessary to become a self taught obstetrician. But really, as you said, she went full mad scientist. All kinds of weird tests. And I was the only one she could talk about her findings with--” His tone had a bit of a hard edge here, the color of his aura shifted to colors of frustration-- “so I got to look at a lot of strange graphs. I hate math. I hate graphs. I don’t ever want to see another scatter plot again.” 

He sighed for dramatic effect, dropping his head into his hands. It had the desired effect of making Maria laugh. 

“You let her keep it?” Maria said surprised.  
  
“All data falls within the pre-agreed limitations,” Max replied but she could sense the underlying thread of discomfort. It would always be there, Maria supposed. Max, like Michael and Isobel, would always be scared of biomedical science, but Max did marry that specific kind of scientist. One that was brilliant and tenacious and who he was always willing to make concessions for (more than he should, Michael would say). 

“So I suggest setting snack reminder alarms on your phone,” Max said after a moment’s silence. Awkward silence, since the previous topic led down a path neither of them wanted to walk down together.  
  
“Yeah that would be wise,” Maria agreed, pulling out of her phone. 

“And scheduling breaks for sitting down,” Max added a little more carefully this time. “Maybe you should consider switching to sneakers too.”   
  
Maria frowned, glancing down at the cognac brown, ankle length boots. They were soft with a low heel. Both fashionable and practical, she thought.

“These are my most comfortable boots,” she said and frowned further at the dubious look Max threw her way. “I’ve been working on my feet since I was 18, Max,” Maria added instead of saying that she just did not care for sneakers outside of the gym or hiking. Max wouldn’t understand why it mattered to her that she always felt under dressed in sneakers too. 

Max opened his mouth to protest or to change the subject. Maria wasn’t sure, she cut him off by standing up. “And I should probably get back to work.” 

Upon stepping back into the bar proper, the scent of fried food made her stomach angry within seconds. Noting her discomfort Max had offered to cover her shift, which she had reluctantly agreed too. It was a practical decision. Luke needed help. She wouldn’t be able to provide any while her stomach was angry with her. Thankfully, Max didn’t make a big deal of it, just slipping behind the bar, taking orders like he’d never stopped working at the Pony. 

However, Maria didn’t leave for home immediately. Ignoring Max’s protests, she disappeared back into her office and worked on all those miscellaneous projects she kept pushing down her to-do list. 

It would be fine as long as she stayed in the office with the door firmly closed, she reasoned. 

And she was _right_.

After a very productive couple of hours, Maria felt good about leaving earlier than normal. 

“You should text Liz,” Max said watching Maria put her coat on from behind the bar. 

“Yeah I should,” she said, not really a promise. But enough to end the conversation. “Good night Max. Thanks again.” 

* * *

Even with all the work she did at the office, Maria still got home earlier than her boys, giving her ample time to take a bath. She hadn’t realized how tired and achy she was until she was soaking in the tub, the relaxing scent of lavender all around her. Idly, she ran the tips of her fingers over her belly, which had started to soften and grow a little.   
  
Her achy body reminded her of the talk with Max about the shoes, of all things. She thought of all her mother and grandmother had accomplished. Single mothers themselves, during pregnancy they’d both worked until they were about to burst. After labor, they got back to the hustle as soon as they reasonably could. So if she could work, she would work. 

Anything less made her feel guilty.   
  
After her bath, she’d ended up taking a nap instead of reading more about pregnancy like she had planned. When she woke up, Michael was home cutting up vegetables for dinner and full of questions as to why she was home so early. 

“You should have called me,” Michael said after Maria gave him the rundown. She was lying on the couch, at Michael’s insistence. But since he had a stew going on the stove, he didn’t come sit with Maria on the couch, just stepping out of the kitchen long enough to give her a disapproving look. “I’d have--”  
  
“Left work early to baby me at the bar?” Maria said, her eyebrow arched.   
  
Michael made a face at the babying comment but didn’t take the bait. Thankfully too, Maria really didn’t want to fight with him. She told herself to stop being so defensive and stop baiting him. 

“Maria, you know that you’re more important than work.”  
  
“You’re never going to get anything done if you leave work every time I have a bout of morning sickness, Michael,” Maria said instead of reminding him how insufferable his inability to equally contribute to the household budget made him. Dealing with morning sickness was a lot more preferable than dealing with a pissy Michael. 

Giving in to her point, Michael walked back into the kitchen. “Fine. But I’m going to text you to remind you to eat from now on.”  
  
“I already set multiple alarms on my phone, Guerin,” Maria said, trying and failing to keep the exasperation out of her tone. He’s just trying to help, she reminded herself. 

Maria sighed, sensing the disapproval coming off him in waves. Maria was one hundred percent sure he was broadcasting on purpose. But at least that was the end of their exchange. Michael continued working on the stew, which helped Maria keep her temper in check. 

Maria was adult enough to admit that she wasn’t always the easiest person to help. Well she was adult enough now. It hadn’t always been easy for her to acknowledge that she was shit at accepting help. She and Michael fought about it plenty before and after they got back together after The CrashCon break up. And here they were, at the crux of it, arguing about it again. But just because Maria could acknowledge something, didn’t mean it was easy for her to do something about it. 

Dinner that night was a mildly tense affair, especially since Alex didn’t join them. He was still working on another freelance project so all he did was grab a bowl and kiss Michael’s hair before disappearing back into his room. Though he did throw a questioning look her way--one she ignored--before leaving the kitchen. So Maria and Michael were forced to talk. And they did. Maria asked him about his day and he had talked, in detail, about fixing a broken tractor and other farm equipment. Maria had insisted on doing the dishes and Michael had let her, disappearing into his own rarely used bedroom. 

* * *

Maria had spent a good portion of the evening considering whether to take Max’s advice and call Liz. And, if she was being honest with herself, her concerns had nothing to do with Liz going all mad scientist on her. Maria wasn’t keen on having yet another person trying to get her to change her habits, especially after last night’s not-fight with Michael. 

The next morning, she told Alex as much after explaining why she and Michael were cranky with each other. Maria and Alex were sitting at the kitchen table, having a mid-morning breakfast before starting their respective days. Michael had left for work early again.

“You can only learn so much from Google,” Alex said reasonably, between sips of coffee. This surprised her, she’d been expecting him to address the Michael issue first. “Also you know she’s just as much a workaholic as you are. There’s no way she’s going to tell you to just put your feet up for the next year and a half.”  
  
“Year and a half?” Maria said aghast. “How long do you think this baby is going to be inside me?”

Alex rolled his eyes. “I’m taking into account maternity leave and stuff.” Now it was Maria’s turn to roll her eyes. “DeLuca, you can’t just pop a squat, spit out a baby and go back to work. You know that right?”  
  
“I am aware,” Maria said tightly. “Thanks for that lovely visual by the way.” 

“You’re welcome.” Alex finished his coffee, completely unphased by her tone. “I’m serious by the way. From one stubborn asshole to another, you are not giving up your strong, independent woman card--”  
  
“Oh you have one of those too?” Maria interrupted. There went her hackles again, rising.   
  
Unimpressed by her bad joke, Alex threw a grape at her. “Just fucking talk to her. She’s one of your best friends. She’s got the lowdown on what it’s like to be pregnant with alien babies and she’s the brilliant scientist you would be calling _anyway_ if anything went wrong.” 

Well she couldn’t argue with that last point. “I suppose it would be uncool if the first time I call her in a while is because something crazy happens like I start glowing like a pod.”

Alex chuckled. “Thankfully between Liz, Mimi and your grandmother, there have been enough alien pregnancies on Earth that we can safely assume there’s no chance you’ll become so translucent that we’ll be able to see the baby floating in your uterus.” 

Maria exhaled, stirring her coffee. The mention of Patty and Mimi brought up complicated feelings. “They were really lucky weren’t they? They didn’t even know anything about their extraterrestrial roots… No idea of the risks, or the dangers lurking a few miles outside of Roswell. In comparison I’m pretty spoiled.”  
  
“I think Mimi would say lucky,” Alex corrected gently. “Lucky to have this wealth of resources _and_ support.” 

Maria glanced up at him. Leave it to Alex to know just how to jab the point in for maximum effect. 

Alex didn’t say anything else. He’d refreshed his coffee cup and was finishing it up, letting Maria think. He made his point anyway and she knew he was right. So, maybe still a little begrudgingly, Maria pulled out her cell phone and sent Liz a quick text:

_Want to grab lunch this weekend?_

“We gotta go,” Alex said, glancing at his smart watch. “The real estate agent will be here soon for another viewing of this house.” He got up and cleaned up their dirty dishes while Maria quickly finished her tea. 

Her phone buzzed. Liz had responded: _I’ve missed you! Yes!_   
  
Maria sent a quick reply, feeling suddenly like an asshole for avoiding Liz. Liz wasn’t perfect but she didn’t deserve to be a proxy for Maria’s bullshit.   
  
Once the text was sent, Maria made her way to the sink to rinse out her tea cup. “How many people have seen this place now?” 

“Five,” Alex said. “Couple of them have been interested too. If we’re lucky it’ll be sold off around the time we move into the ranch.” 

“That’s good. The extra money will come in handy while we work to make our new home less tacky.”  
  
“And less haunted,” Alex joked. Or at least Maria thought he was joking. It was hard to tell with Alex sometimes.   
  
“But what if it’s a friendly ghost?” Maria teased.   
  
“Even worse,” Alex said, shrugging on his leather jacket. “I don’t need Casper floating into my room when Michael and I are in the middle of it.” 

Maria laughed. “Casper’s what we’re naming the baby is it?”  
  
“Don’t even joke about that, DeLuca,” Alex groaned, holding the door open for her while she grabbed her coat and purse. “I donno who that’ll be more traumatizing for. Me or the kid.”   
  
“The kid, Alex.” She swatted his arm, amused and exasperated. “Definitely the kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life got in the way of getting this chapter out. Next chapter should come out faster as half of it is already written.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you just need to vent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it wasn't for beautifulcheat, I'd still be stewing in frustration over finishing this chapter. Her additions were a godsend. Thank you, darling! You're the best. :)

“Ava, you’ve got ketchup all over your face,” Liz said, grabbing a napkin from the table and wiping Ava’s plump cheeks. The four year old’s face screwed up and she shook her head.  
  
“Mama, no,” Ava complained, trying to get away from her mother’s ministrations. But they were all sitting in a booth; the twins were on the inside and all Ava did was squish into her sister. Lucia grumbled and pushed against Ava.   
  
“Just let her do it,” Lucy grumbled.  
  
“Sit still,” Liz said firmly while Ava complained noisily. Lucy slipped under the table, emerging on the other side next to Maria. She started to stand up in the seat so she could better reach her fries.  
  
“I got you, baby. Go ahead and sit down,” Maria smiled and pushed the plate towards Lucy.  
  
“Thank you, tía Maria,” Lucy said before going back to primly eating her fries. The twins were fraternal but they were both similar in appearance. Black hair, inquisitive brown eyes, and little button noses. That, however, was where the similarities ended. In regards to personality, there was way more of Max in Lucy. She was quiet and introverted, while Ava was the more extroverted of the two, bolder and stubborn.   
  
“You don’t have to do it,” Ava continued to complain.  
  
“Then you do it so I don’t have too,” Liz said exasperated, handing her the napkin and looking at her daughter expectantly. When Ava cleaned her face, Liz turned back to Maria. “This one’s spending too much time with her tía Rosa, I think.” Liz said that loud enough that Rosa would hear as she made her way towards them, having come down from the upstairs apartments. 

“I’ve been messy in a lot of ways,” Rosa said, stopping in front of the booth. “But I was never a messy eater.”  
  
“Tía!” The twins cheered and climbed all over Maria and Liz in their excitement to get to Rosa. “Bendición tía!” They echoed.  
  
“Dios te bendiga, m’hijitas,” Rosa said, squatting down and pulling them both up in a tight hug. She kissed the tops of their heads. They giggled and started talking to Rosa in rapid Spanish. 

“You’re late,” Liz said once Rosa calmed the twins down enough to talk. 

Rosa nodded. “Yeah, sorry, just finishing up some last minute preparations for the exhibition in Albuquerque.”  
  
“Do you really have to go, tía?” Ava asked, frowning.

“Yes, she does. It’s work. Work’s important,” Lucy said with an air of self importance that made Ava shove her.  
  
“Hey none of that,” Rosa and Liz admonished simultaneously. 

“And Lucy’s got a point, chiquita,” Rosa said, picking up Ava. “Work’s important. I’ll be back in a couple of months.” Ava frowned, pressing her face into Rosa’s neck, unhappily. Rosa stroked Ava’s hair and continued softly, “Hey now, we’re going to be spending the day together, remember? Gonna have a ton of fun. Get in all kinds of trouble.” Rosa bounced Ava in her arms, making her giggle a little. 

At the trouble comment, Liz rolled her eyes. But Maria smiled. Rosa was so soft and tender with the twins. So different from the angry, troubled girl she once was. Moments like these reminded Maria of how much Rosa had changed, grown. She accepted the help from her family, finally learned to lean on old friends like Maria and new ones like Izzy. She submerged herself in art classes and Mexican and Indigenous studies, and incorporated that into her art, making it more than just the drawings of ‘a sad zombie girl,’ as she would say sardonically, much to Maria’s displeasure. 

“Just be sure mischief is managed by 7,” Liz said. “Papí’s making ceviche.” Rosa’s favorite.

 _"Yes_ ,” Rosa said excitedly and took Lucy’s hand. Ava was still clinging to Rosa’s neck like a baby koala. It was cute. “All right. We better get going then. See you later Maria.”

“Good luck with the exhibition! Text me if I don’t see you before you leave,” Maria said.  
  
“Yup!” Rosa called back as the three exited the Crashdown. 

“Anyway what were we talking about?” Liz said after a moment.  
  
“You and Max are thinking about trying for a boy,” Maria reminded her, resting her arms on the table and leaning forward, eyebrow arched. “Are you serious? Those two aren’t trouble enough?” 

“You sound like Max,” Liz said but even though she nodded wearily there was a little smile on her face. “Papí has been very gently hinting about more grandchildren. Telling us how Ava and Lucy are getting so big. And he’s not wrong. I’m going to miss the pitter patter of little feet.” 

“They’re four. Their feet are still plenty little,” Maria chuckled. 

“True enough,” Liz said, starting to stack the kid’s dirty dishes. Old waitress habits never die.  
  
“The hinting isn't a surprise though,” Maria acknowledged. “Arturo does love having kids around.” Maria remembered how much he liked when she would stay over, always ready with hot chocolate and churros. Always doting on Alex, telling him he needed to eat more. “The more kids around, the happier he is.”

“He is,” Liz smiled softly. “And he's a great help with the girls.”  
  
“Yeah you’re lucky to have him…” Maria tried to keep the envy from her voice. Mimi would never be able to help Maria with the little one…. But no, that didn’t matter. What bothered her was that her baby would never get to _know_ their grandmother. Not the real Mimi. Only the one that might always forget the baby at the end of each visit. 

Maria had thought that she made peace with her mother’s situation. But the pregnancy proved otherwise - as every major milestone always did, she admitted to herself, didn’t she feel like this during the wedding too? It still hurt. Maria wanted her mom with her while they browsed for baby carriages and maternity clothes. She wanted to talk to Mimi about things like strategies for working while pregnant or what labor was like... not about Independence Day and Will Smith or whether Maria had finished all her homework yet.

She’d heard once that the stages of grief weren’t linear. But still, she was surprised at how every new milestone had her grieving again for her mother. How angry and tense that made her. 

“You have Alex and Michael,” Liz reminded her, gently, resting a hand over Maria’s. “And me and Max.”  
  
She knew Liz was right, even if it didn’t keep the wound from hurting. Maria sighed, turned her hand palm up so they were holding hands, and raised her head to meet Liz’s eyes. Her dark eyes were soft, caring and supportive. No sympathy, but why would there be? This was Liz. One of her best friends. And they were best friends because they were so similar. 

“Max saved my ass on Monday,” Maria admitted, rubbing her thumb over the back of Liz’s hand. “As much as I hate to admit that I make mistakes--”  
  
“Amen sister,” Liz said dryly, grinning. Maria laughed. 

“I was such an ass to him,” Maria groaned, covering face with her hands. “I have to apologize.”  
  
“He’s not mad.”  
  
“Are you sure?”  
  
Liz laughed at the skeptical look on Maria’s face. “Nah, he just walked in that night all like--” Here Liz cleared her throat and tried to imitate Max’s baritone. “Can see why ya’ll are friends, you and Maria.”

Maria arched an eyebrow, amused. “Oh?” She could sense there was more. Her lips were quirking into a smile despite herself, despite not knowing if she was going to be annoyed with Max Evans in a moment (doubtful, if Liz’s amusement was any indicator).  
  
Liz cleared her throat again and shifted into a more Max like posture. Her baritone was shit, but the cowboy posturing was spot on. “Looking at a helping hand as charity. I don’t want to take away your ability to vote, just wanna support ya.”  
  
“And then you reamed him?” Maria asked, amused.  
  
“Nah, he was rubbing my feet by then,” Liz said sheepishly, still grinning.

“Yeah that’s the weakness isn’t it?” Maria smiled, thinking of the many times she’s dropped onto the couch next to Michael, propped her feet on his thighs and batted her lashes at him.  
  
“Our Achilles heel one might even say.”  
  
“Ugh. Awful.” Maria threw a fry at her but Liz dodged it, laughing. “No dad jokes allowed” 

Laughing Liz found the fry Maria had thrown, dropping it with the rest of the dirty dishes, before giving the dirty dishes to the busboy as he passed by. When she turned back, Maria noted the shift in the colors of her aura. Caution, Maria read, a little concern and some remorse. Frowning, she waited for Liz to speak, paying attention to Liz's expression and body language as she played with the straw in her milkshake. 

“Max also told me what you said about me too…” She finally said, glancing up from her milkshake at Maria who honestly should have expected this. Why wouldn’t Max tell her? Probably just naturally came up and he didn’t think. 

Maria opened her mouth to speak, though she wasn’t exactly sure what she’d say. She wouldn’t deny it. Nothing she said had been a lie. 

“I’m not upset,” Liz said before Maria could sort out her thoughts enough to speak. “Don’t worry. Max is good at reminding me that I get a little… intense sometimes. Sorry about that.”

Still, Maria felt like an ass. She slipped out of her side of the booth and sat down next to Liz, putting her arm around her. “No, I’m sorry. You’ve always been... staunch in your pursuit of knowledge and a little oblivious for it. I’ve known that about you since before the alien conspiracies, since we were kids.”  
  
Liz sighed a little, nodding. Maria took a peak at her aura again, a twisting swirl of embarrassment, pride, stubbornness, and worry... “Endearingly frustrating and unchangeable Lizisms,” Liz said, quietly, just a little self deprecating but also a little stubborn too. Maria knew the feeling well. Sometimes your faults weren’t entirely bad. Sometimes they’re the source of your success. Sometimes you need to be better at managing them though. 

“Good thing too,” Maria continued. “I wouldn’t be here at all if it weren’t for you. I should not have shut you out. You’re still one of my best friends and it just wasn’t fair to you...” Maria paused, taking a breath before admitting, “because that’s not entirely why I did…” 

Liz shifted, turning in Maria’s arm a little so she could better look at her. There was confusion in her dark eyes and she searched Maria’s face for answers.   
  
“He’s not wrong, Max that is,” Maria said slowly. “About how hard it is for us to admit that we can’t handle everything ourselves.” Here Liz nodded, a bit of a rueful expression on her face. “I’ve been expecting this for a while. The ‘Maria you shoulds…’ and it’s a lot easier when I can reason with myself that they don’t know what they’re talking about. But you do. You’re the foremost expert on being pregnant with alien babies after all...” The more she spoke, the sillier she felt. Irrational, unnecessarily stubborn.  
  
“You know I worked well into my ninth month.” There wasn’t anything accusatory in her tone just amusement. The amusement that came with understanding and commiseration. 

“I know.” Maria nodded. “But you know how I am, Liz. I’ve been half taking care of mom since I was about sixteen. Fully since twenty five. I’ve dealt with so much shit. It’s hard to give up control. I’m a woman of habit. I have a system. I like the way I do things….

“And--” Now that Maria started she found it hard to stop. “--I don’t want to be treated as fragile just because I’m pregnant -- as if society doesn’t stand on the backs of pregnant women all the time. As if my mom didn’t bust her ass, a single mom with mental illness...”  
  
“Maria…”  
  
But Maria didn’t want to be interrupted. “And I know I’m lucky to have more support than she had. And I know that no one sees me as fragile, especially not Michael. But I just get so sensitive about even the most innocuous suggestion of pregnancy related change to my life and routine, which is crazy because just by the baby existing my entire life and routine has been turned upside down!” She felt exasperated with herself and annoyed with the situation. 

So of course now she feels guilty.  
  
“Yup, and you find yourself clinging even more stubbornly to what you _can_ control,” Liz said during the pause where Maria stopped to breathe. Maria nodded. “Nothing you’ve said is crazy. Being pregnant’s fucking annoying. It’s expensive, though you might as well get use to that because kids never stop being expensive.” Liz and Maria both groaned at that reminder. 

Sighing, Liz lifted up her hand and started ticking off other annoyances. “Weight gain, aches in weird places, can’t see your feet, sleep fucking apnea, and everyone either wants to touch your belly or thinks you care about their garbage advice. Or both!”

“Not showing enough for that yet, thankfully,” Maria said. Though it was something she was dreading. “But it’s not like I don’t remember how my pregnant waitresses were treated by customers.” Not that her waitresses couldn’t take care of themselves, but Maria would always sass the customers if they were inappropriate within earshot of her. 

“Fuck, right? It’s so infuriating. And you, at least, are your own boss. You don’t have to worry about your boss thinking you’re about to quit your job.” Liz was drumming her fingers on the table now, momentarily lost in old annoyance. “God forbid a woman keep her career goals and have children.”

“That boss of yours was such a dick,” Maria agreed. She remembered the long string of angry text messages from Liz in the group chat. Alex would text her legal codes. Rosa would send gifs from The Office. No matter the job, you could always find a gif from that show that related to your work woes. 

But, if it wasn’t for that unpleasant ass, Liz and Max may have not moved back to Roswell. So there’s that. 

“Told off at least three different people at that lab,” Liz was grumbling. “You’d think this was 1950 the way some research scientists behave!”

“Sexism is alive and well in the year of our lord 2020,” Maria replied dryly. “Not that the world ever let us forget it for a fucking second.”  
  
“For fucking real! And a big old belly just adds another annoying fucking layer.”  
  
“Sometimes I can’t help but feel like the bean’s another hurdle to proving that I’m competent and capable.” Maria rests her hand over her belly, caressing it gently.  
  
“Yup and it makes you feel bad because your baby shouldn’t be considered a fucking hurdle,” Liz said softly, voicing Maria’s thoughts. 

Nodding Maria leaned into Liz. Liz slipped a hand around Maria’s waist and hugged her closer. They were quiet for a moment, just enjoying the comfort of each other’s presences. 

“I feel like I’m becoming fucking pressure cooker of irritation,” Maria said, quietly, suddenly tired. She was still looking at her belly, rubbing it gently. “Ready to blow up over something stupid and inconsequential.  
  
“At someone who’s trying to help,” Liz promoted gently. 

“Yeah, well. Michael really can be kind of smothering when he’s worried,” Maria grumbled. Maybe Liz had been talking about Max. But Maria hadn’t forgotten her not-fight with Michael. How he hadn’t brought up her work schedule again, but she was finding snacks in her purses and there were soft insoles slipped into all the shoes she usually wore to work. “He does fucking mean well and he’s just trying to help. He’s trying to be there for his family. Something my dad never did. But his concern, Alex’s concern… it all just chafes. Ugh I want a drink.” 

“Oh yeah, that’s the worst part too isn’t it?” Liz said, sitting up a little. “Worse than the sleep apnea and the sexism and smothering spouses. No alcohol, no coffee, no sushi, no Advil.” Liz laughed. “Why the hell was I considering being pregnant again?”  
  
“Pitter patter of little feet?” Maria replied, chuckling. “A little Arturito toddling after the twins?”  
  
“That would be pretty cute.” Liz smiled.  
  
When the waiter walked by to check on them, Liz ordered two apple pies ala mode. “Next best thing to alcohol is sweets, I find,” Liz said when two warm plates were set in front of each of them.  
  
The pie did make Maria feel better, less annoyed with herself and her reaction to her circumstances. She focused on the contrasting sensations and textures of the dessert--the warm, flakey crust and the cool smooth ice cream. 

Halfway through, the sugar had helped loosen the knot in her chest enough that she grudgingly said, “I suppose Michael would smoother less if I actually talked to him.” Maybe she didn’t feel completely better. But she was on the way. Just getting to air out her frustrations with Liz helped a lot. 

She did feel calmer.  
  
“I wasn’t going to say it.” Liz managed not to look smug, which was probably the best Maria could hope for. 

Maria groaned. “Fine.”  
  
Liz smiled at her, and thankfully changed the subject. “So, what are you hoping for? Boy or girl?” 

“Neither really,” Maria said. “We told Kyle not to tell us actually.”  
  
“For the surprise?” 

“Not really,” Maria began. “I mean, at first we wanted to stay in the dark to better create a gender neutral nursery for the baby but also...” Maria shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter to us. The gender, I mean.”  
  
“That’s fair,” Liz said. “Should I use gender neutral pronouns?”  
  
Maria shrugged. “Yeah, it couldn’t hurt, I guess. We don’t want to call the baby ‘it’ either. But we haven’t decided how to proceed when they’re born. It’s a lot to talk about really. Having kids is a lot.”

“It’s so much and it never stops,” Liz acknowledged, taking Ava’s abandoned milkshake and sipping from it. “But we manage. I have dad and Max. You have Alex and Michael.”

“Way more support than our parents had,” Maria couldn’t help saying.  
  
Liz sighed, nodding. “I honestly have no idea how they did it. Mimi and Papí are real superheroes.” Maria chuckled softly, still thinking of her mother, trying not to feel guilty about the assisted living facility Mimi currently lived in. Logical and necessary though the decision was, Maria would always feel some guilt over it. 

“And you have us,” Liz said, softly after a moment. “For anything.”

“Thanks.” Maria hugged her again. Squeezing her tight. Liz hugged her back just as tightly. 

“So, like, if you have any questions…” Liz prompted. 

Maria laughed. “I’ll ask. But honestly, I think I just, really needed to talk.” She leaned into Liz, feeling more relaxed than she had in weeks. “Thank you.” 

* * *

After finishing brunch with Liz, Maria brought take out from the Crashdown with her to the junkyard. She found Michael working on a Honda sedan. He was lying on a creeper, head and most of his torso lost underneath the car. But the best part was the cat curled up on his stomach, napping as he worked. The junkyard attracted strays and, much to Sanders’ disdain, Michael liked to feed them. 

She smiled to herself and pulled out her phone, taking a quick photo to upload to instagram. 

_a pair of adorable junkyard kittens,_ she added before posting. 

She then went to start a fire, and grab a drink, settling down in a chair to wait. 

Eventually, Michael was pushing out from under the car, carefully sitting up with the cat, who meowed in protest. “Hey,” he called out, smiling at her. “How long you been here?” 

“Not too long,” Maria said, smiling back at him. He was so handsome. Sweet. “Brought you lunch.” She picked up the takeout bag with the Crashdown’s log, shaking it invitingly--a peace offering? An apology gift?  
  
She knew that Michael didn’t actually need either. But he deserved it.  
  
Beaming, he plopped into the vacant chair next to her, grabbing the take out bag and kissing her cheek at the same time. “Nice surprise,” he said. “How’s Liz?”

“Good. She sends her love,” Maria said as Michael started to eat. “The twins were sad you weren’t with me.”  
  
Michael looked at her, uncomfortable. “I’ll make it up to them,” he finally said after swallowing his food down.  
  
Maria shook her head, laughing a little. “They’re already over it. But join us next time? This time it was… good just to have a bit of girl time, I think.” 

“Yeah?” Michael asked, reaching over, and rubbing her arm, briefly. 

“Yeah.” Maria nodded, chewing on the inside of her cheek a little. This was the hard part. Honestly, she could be so prideful sometimes. “I’ve been a bitch all week, I’m sorry.”   
  
Michael shrugged. “It’s fine.”  
  
“Michael…”

“You’re stressed. I’m a shit when I’m stressed too,” he said, laughing. “You have put up with a lot more shit from me. I promise you. We’re fine.”  
  
Maria started to scoot her seat closer to him. Michael used his abilities to drag her chair over faster. She hugged him. “Still not right.”  
  
“I’ve accepted your apology,” Michael said, softly. “But I’ll take it back if you don’t let me finish this burger.” 

Rolling her eyes, Maria pulled away but she was smiling. God, she loved him. She kept one hand on his knee, rubbing gently. Letting him eat.  
  
“Thanks for the insoles,” she said idly, eventually.   
  
He smiled, nodding. His aura shifting, full of pleasure, pride. “Is the trail mix ok? I can make a different kind.”

“Can’t say I’m a fan of dried papaya.” Maria smiled. 

“Pineapple ok?”  
  
“Am a fan.” She leaned her head against his shoulder. Closed her eyes. She felt better after her talk with Liz, but now she felt lighter. 

They sat in silence while Michael finished his burger. He crumpled the wrapper and threw it into the take out bag. A moment later a couple of coke cans floated into their hands. There was no one in the junkyard except for them and the strays that were napping by their feet. 

“Do you think mom is proud of me?” she asked, quietly, rubbing her thumb across the cool tin can.

Michael blinked, looking at her for a long moment before he leaned over and kissed her. “Of course she is,” he said, quietly, nuzzling her cheek. “You’re a badass.” 

Maria hummed, not entirely in agreement. Michael put his arm around her. 

“You’re worth it,” Michael said after a moment. “Worth all her sacrifices. And no matter what, no matter how much or little she really understands -- she’s going to love you, and our baby. You know that, right?” 

“I thought I was supposed to be the psychic.”  
  
Michael chuckled. “Can’t expect me to spend this much time with you and not pick up a few tricks.” 

Maria smiled, fondly. “Guess not.” 

“Also I know humor is deflection. So yeah, getting back to my original point... she loves you. You’ve got nothing to prove, Maria.” 

“You talked to Alex, didn’t you?”  
  
“ _Maria_ ,” Michael said sternly. 

“I hear you,” Maria laughed, lifting her head, meeting his eyes. “I know you’re right. I just… She gave up so much for me I just… want to make sure I’m doing my best to be worth it.”

Michael was quiet for a moment, the ever-present colors shifting a bit, to the color of a sky after a storm. Melancholy. He was thinking about his mother. _Oh Maria,_ she chided herself, _of course he understands_. 

“Far as I can tell,” Michael started, taking a drink of his soda, “only way we can be sure we’re worth it is to keep moving forward. Take each day and do our best, right?” 

Maria nodded, pressed her face into his chest. He smelled of grease, sweat, and rain. It was so comforting. However, the armrest dug into her belly and that was uncomfortable so she could only hold the position for so long, sadly.

“I’ll wait here while you finish your work,” she said, as she drew away, annoyed. “Then when we get home, let’s take a bath together? And maybe we can talk about how best I can manage my work/pregnant life balance?”

Michael had not been expecting that last part but he was clearly glad to hear it. “Just gotta finish up this car.” He caught the way Maria looked at the other three sedans waiting to be serviced. “The rest can wait ‘til tomorrow.” He waved a hand in dismissal. “You sure you don’t want to go on ahead?” 

Maria smiled. “Yeah. This is kind of nice. Watching you work.” 

Michael kissed her, heading back to the Honda. They chatted a bit as he worked but mostly Maria just relaxed by the firepit and took the occasional photo of cats climbing all over Michael.

Michael was going to take part of the day off to dote on her, and she was going to let him. She supposed that meant they were both changing for the better.


	6. Interlude: Alex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's check in on Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A break from Maria’s POV so we can check in on Alex. As people have noticed, he’s not doing as well as he likes to pretend he is.

The smell of coffee wafted in from the kitchen and Alex hummed happily in anticipation. He’d been planning on making coffee the minute he got up but a work email caught his attention. By the time he was done with that, Michael had slipped into the kitchen, starting coffee and shooing Alex towards the couch. 

It was just the two of them at home. Maria had an early morning at work before heading off to see her mother. The boys were supposed to make breakfast and spend the morning packing before Michael also had to head out for a short shift at the junkyard. Of course, they got less packing and more cuddling and general lazing done instead. 

“Oh Maria sent you that Instagram account too?” While coming around the couch, a couple mugs of coffee in hand, Michael had seen the account that Alex was scrolling through on his phone. 

“Thanks,” Alex said, taking the coffee from him and sipping from it. “Yeah you’re not the only one she’s been trauma spamming ever since touring the ranch.” This was maybe the seventh link related to home renovations or interior design that she sent this week alone.   
  
Michael laughed, propping his feet up on the coffee table, ankles crossed. In just a pair of blue boxer briefs, Michael was all long legs and strong thighs. Even after all these years, Alex couldn’t get over how effortlessly handsome Michael was. He had this easy, relaxed sort of masculinity that drove Alex crazy.

“I keep reminding her that they are going to take all their furniture with them,” Michael said, taking a sip of his coffee. “But it’s like the glass sphinx end table has been seared into her eyeballs.”

Putting his phone down, Alex placed his hand on Michael’s inner thigh, lazily rubbing his thumb over the soft hair there. “Mine too to be fair,” Alex chuckled. “And that bathroom with the blood red tub and the white and gold fleur de lis wallpaper.” Alex wrinkled his nose and stuck out his tongue in disgust. 

“Just be thankful there wasn’t a creepy doll collection.” Laughing, Michael draped an arm around Alex’s shoulder, pulling him closer. Alex could now feel the soft rumble of Michael’s laughter and he smiled. Distracted from the horror of a creepy doll collection, Alex turned head just enough to press a sweet kiss to Michael’s lips. Michael kissed him again a second after as he usually did. One kiss was almost always never enough. 

“Most of that stuff is easily fixed at least,” Michael continued as if they hadn’t been sharing slow and sweet kisses for the last five minutes. “The stupid ass columns don’t support anything for example. They can come down. The granite counters in the kitchen are nice but we can replace the cabinets or at least repaint. That dark brown is so oppressive. ” 

Alex didn’t need to see Michael’s face to know how excited he was about all the ways they could make the ranch house their home. With his head resting on Michael’s shoulder, Alex watched Michael’s other hand as he spoke. He was gesturing excitedly as if they were already living at the ranch house and he was pointing out all the spots that could be improved upon. 

“And I think Maria’s right about knocking down that wall between the kitchen and the dinning room,” Michael continued. 

“Or maybe get a big kitchen island that doubles as a table,” Alex offered. 

“That’s actually a good idea,” Michael sounded surprised. Alex was comfortable but not comfortable enough to spare Michael a jab to the side with his elbow.

“I’m not completely inept at interior design,” Alex grumbled. Ever since Maria and Michael moved into his current home, his nice orderly house has become cluttered with crystals, pictures, bits of machinery, and plants. Michael had so _many_ plants. Most of them now lived on the hanging shelves that Michael built (though some plants had snuck into Alex and Maria’s bedrooms), anchored to a wall that was no longer white but teal. There were colorful throw pillows and soft comfy blankets on his furniture now too. It was homier for sure. And Alex liked it. But he would have never done it himself. “I’m just not that into it!” 

“Yes I know the only kind of interior design you're into is the make and model of security cameras,” Michael teased. Alex glared at him. “Don’t deny it, I saw all the baby monitoring equipment you got on Amazon.”   
  
“It’s just a good time to buy electronics. Everything’s on sale.”   
  
“Uh huh. You know we haven’t even decided what color to paint the baby’s room yet but you’re all ready to big brother it.”   
  
Alex rolled his eyes. “You and Maria get to make those kinds of decisions.” 

Michael nudged him. “Your input is expected as well.” Michael’s tone was serious, like he was angling towards something.   
  
Alex had no intention of letting him. “If I remember correctly both you and Maria have put a moratorium on white in the new house.”   
  
“There’s gonna be a kid in the house, Alex! White is stupid.”   
  
“Just because children are sticky and dirty doesn’t mean white is stupid.”   
  
“Oh yeah sure, if you’re OCD and weird.” 

“Oh my god shut up,” Alex murmured, leaning to kiss him again. One of his favorite things to do, if he was being honest, was kissing Michael when he was saying something dumb. 

Michael laughed into it, chasing Alex’s mouth whenever he tried to lean back, for several minutes, before Michael pulled back himself, with an annoyed groan. “I gotta get ready. Sanders will kill me if I don’t get that combine fixed on time.” 

Alex smiled at him. “Yeah, I have that last freelance job to finish up too. Then it’s all packing and moving, all the time.”

“Oooh, I love it when you talk dirty.” Michael joked, leaning in for another kiss before he got up, going to try and find pants.

* * *

“Hey, brother, was calling to congratulate you on getting the house,” Greg said, voice tinny since Alex had him on speaker phone. Alex saved what he was working on and got up, stretching. He’d been putting the finishing touches on his last project before sending it out. 

“Thanks.” Alex smiled. It was a lot. One of the biggest things he’d ever done with his life, and even if it was terrifying, just hearing Greg congratulating him made him feel accomplished. 

“Can’t wait to see it.” He could hear Greg’s smile, his always-infectious enthusiasm. 

“Yeah we’re planning on a housewarming once we’re all settled in,” Alex said, walking around the boxes that were already littering the hallway on his way to the kitchen. The house was always empty around this time of day. Maria and Michael both being at work.   
  
“Put me down as RSVP’d.”   
  
“Done,” Alex said, smiling down at his phone. As if Greg could see him. See how happy he was that Greg was in his life. 

“By the way, how do you feel about a blanket for the baby? I was thinking of commissioning one?”

Alex tilted his head a little. “I’m sure M&M would be happy about it.” He set his phone down on the kitchen counter, checking the cabinet for the box of Cheerios. 

When Greg didn’t respond immediately, Alex made sure the line hadn’t been disconnected. It wasn’t. “Greg?” He couldn't be confused about the nickname, Alex's had been calling them that for years. Ever since Rosa, cackling, brought it up one night while they were both at an art show. Honestly, he thought it was too cute. Michael didn't mind. Maria rolled her eyes.   
  
“Yeah sorry… have you guys decided what the baby room is going to look like?”   
  
“They’ve been talking about a space theme,” Alex said, grabbing a bowl, and milk from the fridge.   
  
Greg hummed. “I was thinking animals but maybe little alien faces on the blanket would be more appropriate?”

“Corny,” Alex chuckled. “X-Wings would be better.”  
  
“Ah, so you do have an opinion.”   
  
“What?”   
  
“I donno…” Greg was quiet for a moment. “Was wondering if you were involved in the decorating.”

Alex narrowed his eyes at his cell phone. “I think they can handle it.” 

“I know they can,” Greg said, quickly. “I guess I’m just surprised. I mean, you’re having a kid. I always thought you’d be a pretty involved dad.”

Alex frowned. Unsure how to respond but knowing that saying _well technically Maria and Michael are having a baby_ was likely the incorrect response. He could just imagine Greg’s gentle disapproving teacher face. “I’ve just been focused on closing the deal on the ranch and selling my current place, is all. And there’s moving logistics to consider as well. So I’m focusing on that so M&M can focus on the baby stuff.” 

“You sure that’s all that is? Kind of feels like you’re distancing yourself.” 

Alex pinched the bridge of his nose. Why was he cursed to be around so many intuitive people?

His awkward silence apparently was enough confirmation for Greg. “Alex,” he started. “Are you okay? I know this is a lot, but I’m here if you need to talk about it. No judgment.” 

“I know. I’m fine,” Alex said softly, trying to keep his tone even. He didn’t want to be mad about this. He didn’t want to be frustrated or upset. He wanted to be fine. He needed to be fine and he was, mostly. Sure, Alex had been perfectly content and happy with the way his life was before, and the baby upended all that. But Alex was accustomed to dealing with change. And this was a thought experiment he’s had before, one he’s discussed with Maria and Michael. So he wasn’t completely unprepared for it.

But sure, a baby was a change he wasn’t sure he would ever be ready for. And sure, the pregnancy would change the balance of their--his and Michael’s and his and Maria’s--relationship. But that would ultimately be ok. It wasn’t like they’d been living in idyllic peace after all. But sure, ok, the pregnancy was making him think about being a father, about his father, about the actual process of parenting and....   
  
_Ugh_. 

But none of that mattered, because there was going to be a baby. And it wasn’t just going to be him around fucking it up. As long as Maria and Michael were there, that kid stood a chance.  
  
“It’s how you said, it’s just a lot,” Alex sighed. “Everything is happening really fast and I guess I haven’t had time to process.” 

“Kids are a lot,” Greg said carefully.  
  
“They are,” Alex agreed. “I do like kids.”   
  
“I know you do. You’re good with them. My students love when you visit.” 

Alex snorted. Not exactly arguing, but he and Greg have had that talk more than once. “It’s different when they’re...”

“Your kids?” 

“Or yours adjacent.” 

“Is that what they said?” Alex could hear the frown in Greg’s voice.  
  
“Of course not.” He had to laugh, the very idea was ludicrous. Even in the privacy of Alex’s bedroom, Michael rambled on insistently about the baby. Asked Alex’s opinion or advice on child-related things that Alex had zero idea how to answer. Had him pulling up Google while Michael continued to ramble on excitedly about height charts and how Alex absolutely needed to teach the kid how to play piano. 

_You mean you prefer that over teaching them my NSA hacking skills._

_Yes, babe, I absolutely do. Nothing personal, but I don’t want them anywhere fucking near the United States Armed Forces._ Michael had spoken firmly but had concern in his eyes. As if Alex would be offended by Michael’s dislike of the military. As if Michael hadn’t already made it abundantly clear so many times in the past. Maria too. As if Alex didn’t already feel the same way.

 _Can I at least teach them how to build their own computer?_ Alex had asked instead of arguing, kissing Michael’s hair and tugging him closer, under the covers. 

_Only if I get to help,_ Michael had murmured just before they got distracted with each other.

“You sure?” Greg broke into the memory, bringing Alex back into the present. “You’re not feeling pushed out?”

“Seriously no way,” Alex said. “You’d think I was carrying it the way they act.” Maria is still waiting on a list of baby names he might like. Not at all pleased with him for putting it off. As if there aren’t literal months before kiddo makes their debut. 

“When are you moving?” Greg changed the subject, after a moment of awkward silence.

“Couple weeks.” Alex ignored the slight panic at the realization that it was only a couple weeks away. They were perfectly on schedule, but still. This was happening, and soon.   
  
“Need help?”   
  
Alex frowned. Who offered to help with moving? “Why?”   
  
“Did you get this suspicious nature from mom or dad, you think?” Greg asked, with a laugh.   
  
“Har har. You’re not that subtle.” 

“Do you need help or not?”   
  
Alex sighed. Greg absolutely wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Yeah sure.” 

“Good. Just text me when.” Greg hesitated for a minute. “There’s a pow wow coming up, too. I thought you guys might want to come? Some of the kids are dancing.” 

“Um, yeah, that sounds good. Let me run it by them.” Something about that felt like a set-up. Not a _bad_ one, per se, but like Greg had been angling to invite them the whole time. And it wasn’t that he had a problem with it. He’d been meaning to connect more to his past, his mother’s traditions, there just never seemed to be much time for it.

“Oh Michael will be all over it,” Greg chuckled.   
  
“He’s got baby rabies,” Alex agreed. Michael didn’t seem to have one ounce of the uncertainties he had or Maria seemed to have but not really admit to.

Alex supposed _one_ of them had to be completely sure of themselves in this situation. 

“Being excited to have a kid isn’t an infectious disease, Alex.” Greg said, but he was laughing, too. “I’m excited for you.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Alex shook his head. “Text me the details about the pow wow?” 

“Only if you text me about your moving day. I’ll bring the truck down.” 

“You’re nuts. But fine.” Alex shook his head again but was feeling really fortunate to have Greg back in his life. “See you soon, brother.”

After hanging up, Alex went back to settle down at the computer, to get the job out. He was glad Greg had called when he was almost finished, because the conversation had left him just a little scattered. Like the boxes that were scattered around their apartment, he felt like Greg had reached into the neat boxes he’d packed feelings away in and scattered them around. He submitted the job, drumming his fingers on his desk a bit, before getting up to grab his notebook.

Writing always helped him sort his thoughts out. 

He went to stretch out on the chaise lounge, writing, starting to work on the lyrics for a new song. It was another unseasonably warm winter day, and it was easy to lose track of time. 

He didn’t hear the door open, or even notice his phone buzzing to let him know the door had opened, so it was a bit of a surprise when Michael was suddenly home, making a beeline towards him and promptly sprawling on top of him. “Michael,” Alex grunted, notebook in one hand and an earbud in the other. Michael had just stretched out on top of him. “I’m working.”  
  
“So keep working.” Unrepentant, Michael only moved to get more comfortable--chest to chest with Alex, head on the pillow next to him. 

“ _Michael_ ,” Alex said exasperated. But all Michael did was kiss his cheek and press his nose against Alex’s neck. “You’re worse than a cat.” 

“Not true.” Michael had the audacity to yawn. “You don’t like cats. But you like me.” And he chuckled, snuggling, hands tucked under Alex’s shoulder blades. 

Alex rolled his eyes, exasperated. “Where’s Maria when I need her?”  
  
“She was gonna see Mimi after work, remember,” Michael laughed. “Can’t pawn me off on her this time.” 

There was no point in denying something you were guilty of doing, so Alex didn’t bother. It was one of the perks of being in a polycule. 

Then inspiration struck and Alex grinned. He turned his head so his lips brushed against Michael’s ear as he whispered, “You’re so cute.”  
  
“Ugh. No,” Michael complained but Alex could tell he was already blushing. Michael’s core temperature started to get impossibly hotter.

“Cherub curls and pretty brown eyes.”  
  
“I know what you’re trying to do.” Michael lifted his head up to glare at Alex who just looked back at him with as innocent an expression as he could muster. “It will not work.”   
  
“Cupid’s bow mouth,” Alex continued, meeting Michael’s challenging eye. “The prettiest shade of pink. Maria and I want to market that shade--Cowboy Blush.”   
  
“Fuck you!” Michael laughed, covering Alex’s mouth with his hand. “I’m not moving. Ow! Did you just bite me?!”   
  
“Oh don’t act like this is the first time I’ve ever bitten you.” 

“This is not sexytimes, Alex,” Michael said imperiously. “This is naptime. No biting or trying to scare me away with corny compliments.” He narrowed his eyes at Alex who stared back at him with barely controlled mirth. Even if Alex’s ploy was not working, it was still funny how much Michael could not tolerate being praised outside of the bedroom. 

Michael started to settle back down against Alex, who was definitely not done yet.   
  
“Michael Guerin,” he began and Michael groaned, knowing exactly what was coming. “I think you are sweet and beautiful. You deserve to be cared for as much as--” Face red, Michael cut him off with a kiss. The kind of kiss that Alex always got lost in, deep and soft, peppered with little nips of fond annoyance. Michael’s hand caressing his cheeks and hair. When they broke apart, Michael trailed kisses down his jaw and throat before pressing his face into the crook of Alex’s neck. Intent on going to sleep. The asshole.   
  
“Michael.”   
  
“Naptime.”   
  
Sighing in resignation, Alex popped the earbud back in place, propped the notebook up on Michael’s shoulder and got back to work. When Michael felt like imitating a baby spider monkey, nothing could dissuade him. 

He pressed his nose into Michael’s curls and inhaled, letting the scent of rain inspire the next verse of his song.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving day has finally arrived.

“That better not be another box full of security equipment,” Maria warned but she couldn’t muster a threatening tone if she wanted, thanks to Michael, who had his thumb pressed into the sole of her foot, working out a particularly stubborn knot there. She was stretched out on the couch, the foot that wasn’t currently being massaged resting on Michael’s strong thighs.    
  
“I could have sworn I saw another box earlier. How much stuff did you buy?” Michael asked, glancing briefly at Maria who shrugged. Alex is going to Alex. She nudged him with her foot so he’d get back to the massage, which he did with a chuckle. 

Alex sat down in the recliner and started opening up an Amazon box. 

“The house is big, Maria,” Alex replied, ignoring Maria's soft little moans of pleasure as Michael worked all the tension from her feet. Michael loved giving foot rubs or back rubs. Maria was sure he cultivated that skill specifically so he had an excuse to touch them. 

As if he needed one.

As if they’d ever mind. 

“I think there’s gonna be more security at that ranch than at Holloman’s,” Michael said blandly.

“If that’s supposed to dissuade me you’ll find it’s having the opposite effect,” Alex said dryly. Michael shook his head. 

“Mmn.” Maria moaned a bit as Michael hit another sore spot. “But you could just wait till we’ve moved. It’s only a couple weeks off and the fewer boxes to move the better.”   
  
“Whatever doesn’t fit in the moving van can go with us or Greg. It’s not gonna be a big deal.” 

Maria cracked open an eye. “Greg wants to help us move?”

Alex chuckled, and Maria could tell that he was just as confused by the offer as she was. “Yeah. He insisted.”

“What's wrong with him?” Maria watched Alex pull out what might be a baby monitor from the box. Maria didn’t know much about this stuff yet, but that thing looked fancy. This was Alex, so she wouldn’t be surprised if it could launch missiles and burp baby too. 

“Hey, don’t argue with free help,” Michael said, and he was smiling. “Max already agreed to help too.” 

Alex rolled his eyes. “I have paid a team of people to come here with a van. Maria is pregnant, we don’t need to be ferrying all this over ourselves.”

“Excuse you?!” Maria was torn between laughing and bristling at the implication that she couldn’t help with moving. It was quite possibly the most annoying thing about being pregnant. Her belly wasn’t even that big yet. And she still worked out (though yes there had been some modifications). But the staff at the Pony had increasingly started to subtly take care of any lifting that needed to be done. As did her boys around the house. 

It was hard to keep from becoming immediately angry. Changes were expected. And maybe at times needed, she’d begrudgingly admit to no one but Liz. Liz had been getting a lot of venting-texts from Maria lately. It helped keep her temper in check. 

“Come on Alex, we don't need to waste money on movers,” Michael protested. “I can move things with my brain.” He wiggled his fingers next to his head for emphasis. 

As if they shared one brain, Maria and Alex both shifted to stare at Michael. 

“Michael, if you think--”

“For one minute--”

“That you’ll be doing all this moving yourself…”

“Not all of it!” Michael backpedaled quickly in the face of Maria and Alex’s twin glares. 

“You both,” Alex began, “are  _ idiots _ . I’ve already hired the movers and we’re going to use them like sane adults.”   
  
“Hey, don’t bunch me in with him,” Maria said, nudging Michael with her foot to both point out that she was excluding herself from Michael’s stupidity and to remind Michael once more that her feet still required rubbing. “I was expecting movers.”   
  
She was however, a little annoyed that Alex had just assumed the responsibility of hiring movers. Though honestly, she had already half expected him to. Alex had taken over almost all the moving logistics (in addition to buying and selling homes) without being asked to. Just like Michael had decided he’d be in charge of moving. For likely similar reasons… stupidity, Maria thought. And yes, she was aware that was at least a little unfair of her. 

“Anyway,” Alex was rolling his eyes. “They’ll take the big stuff, we can take care of the smaller stuff. And Greg and Max can help unpack if they insist.”

“Better label those boxes well then,” Michael said dryly, winking at Maria. “There are several things Max does not need to know about my sex life.” 

“Oh my god,” Maria groaned, and lightly poked him in the jaw with her toes. “Forget Max. Greg. Greg can never know!”   
  
Michael laughed, grabbed her foot again and kissing her toes. “How is it worse if Greg finds out?”   
  
“Because Greg doesn’t have Isobel ‘no-filter-or-decency’ Evans as a sister!” Maria pointed out. “Imagine how he’d feel finding out his sweet little brother’s a freak?”

“ _ Anyway _ .” Alex was blushing about as much as Michael was, and Maria watched them both, with a smile. 

“It’ll be nice,” Maria said, grinning. “Unpacking, settling in. Having pizza with family. Maybe I’ll have half a beer.”   
  
“Maria!” Michael protested. 

“Kyle said it was okay once in a while,” she reminded him, a little defensive. But she could see and feel his subdued panic. “But I could get some non-alcoholic ones too,” she relented. She’d never be able to relax while he stress-hovered, rendering any amount of beer that she could actually drink entirely counter-productive. 

Michael smiled, kissed her toes before starting to rub her feet again, and she supposed this was what she’d have to deal with for another year and a half. 

Oh well, she thought, idly rubbing her belly. It wasn’t forever. And it wasn’t like Alex and Michael weren’t constantly sacrificing for her. 

“This is so sexy,” Alex said, now having plugged in and turned on the new equipment.    
  
“This thing sings?” Michael said, floating the box in front of him so he could read it and still be able to rub Maria’s feet. Alien husbands. 10/10 would recommend. “Why does it need to sing to the baby? It’s a monitor?”

“Ask that question again when baby’s woken you up for the fourth time in a row,” Alex replied. 

“Shouldn’t we consider cosleeping?” Michael asked. He was trying to look and sound impartial but failing entirely. She already could tell he was all for it. Not that she was terribly surprised. She and Alex have already joked about how Michael and the baby were going to be attached at the hip. Maria had already gotten a baby bjorn with Michael in mind. 

Maria opened her mouth to say as much but instead inhaled sharply as she felt a faint tickle, almost a tapping in her stomach. “Oh,” she breathed, realizing almost immediately what it was. Eyes a little misty, she excitedly reached for Michael’s hand, pulling it right to her belly. 

“What?” Michael said, blinking in confusion. His whole aura changed when he realized what was going on, hopeful yellow-orange. 

“They’re kicking.” She found herself speaking softly, as if speaking loudly would scare the baby into being still again. “Do you feel it?” And for a second, Maria worried that she had imagined it. Or that the baby would be stubborn but no, there it was, another kick. Michael beamed, pressing his hand a little firmer against her belly. 

“Yeah.” Michael sounded breathless, and he was reaching with his other hand for Alex’s, pulling him right over to feel it too. 

“Michael…” Alex chuckled, nervously as he was pulled over. Maria was sure Michael was using his TK to help him over.   
  
“Shhh.” 

Maria watched them, swallowing against a throat that was tight with joy. Michael was practically crying, and Alex was biting his lip, resolutely not looking at either of them. Just at her belly. Stroking his thumb in slow circles over her skin. She could see the conflict in his aura, the concern, but she could also see a smile on his lips, small at first but slowly growing. Especially when Michael wrapped his free arm around Alex’s shoulder, kissed his hair after kissing Maria’s knee. 

Maria leaned up, pulling Michael into a soft kiss, then wrapped her arm around Alex, resting their foreheads together. Just so overwhelmed with feelings, hers and theirs as well, that she was surprised she wasn’t bawling. Michael’s feelings were all excitement and joy, his love like a big warm hug. He just felt so lucky, she knew, his feelings almost overwhelmed Alex’s quieter ones. 

The big thing she picked up from Alex was protectiveness. Almost as overwhelming as Michael’s happiness. But his other emotions were so much more reserved… happiness and love, curiosity, his own excitement all restrained by worry. He felt like… a kid holding a baby bird in his hands, afraid of even the slightest wrong move. Awed and terrified all at once. 

Oh Alex...

“They’re really going at it,” Alex said after a moment, also speaking quietly. Still stroking her belly gently, fingers bumping occasionally with Michael’s.    
  
“A dancer like their mom,” Michael said and kissed her again. Nuzzling her cheek.    
  
“Corny,” Maria replied, after a little sniffle. 

“Could be a little brawler, like their dad,” Alex teased, pressing a kiss to Maria’s temple.    
  
Michael laughed, watery. “Oh please no. God.” 

“Dancer then,” Alex murmured, rubbing Maria’s shoulder gently. He was quiet for a long moment, just petting her belly. And Michael and Maria let him as they snuggled up close and shared soft kisses. 

“Speaking of, Greg invited us to the rez,” Alex said, breaking the warm, comfy silence they’d all fallen into. “Some of his kids are dancing. Might be nice…?” 

“Yes!” Michael said excitedly. “That sounds adorable. And maybe we can get stuff to decorate the nursery.”

“Really?” Alex sounded surprised.    
  
Maria refrained from rolling her eyes. “It’s not just white people in space.”   
  
Alex chuckled, embarrassment coloring his aura. “Fair.” Alex shifted a little, leaning more against her. Honestly on their couch, any closer and he’d be on top of her. But she didn’t mind. She felt good and safe and happy squished between her boys as her child moved around inside her, making their presence really and truly felt. Like a true DeLuca. 

Eventually though, it was too much. Smiling Maria leaned up to kiss Alex’s temple and then Michael. “Food. I’m starving. Then ice cream.”

“I can--” Michael started but Alex cut him off.   
  
“Heat up last night’s leftovers. I got it. You two keep cuddling.” Alex ruffled Michael’s hair a little.    
  
“Well, if you insist.” Michael smiled and shifted to curl up with Maria on the couch, spooning her with his hand on her belly. She pressed her face into the crook of his neck, breathing in the scent of rain. 

It was perfect.

* * *

Maria sat on the bed meditating while Michael slept. Focusing on her breathing, ignoring the sounds of Alex and Greg already up and puttering around the house. They were talking in low voices but there was a seriousness she didn’t miss and it made her curious. But she supposed it wasn’t really her business (Alex would tell them if he wanted). Anyway she really needed to mediate. Even with the movers, it was going to be a long, hard day. And she couldn’t have coffee. So meditation it was. 

Greg had arrived the night before. Packing the last few odds and ends, helping clean up. Maria hated to admit it, but having him there definitely was nice. This wasn’t her first move. She knew the process was an ordeal but she’d forgotten just how bad it was. Even with weeks to prepare and Alex’s checklists, there was still stuff that had yet to be done the night of. And the three of them were getting a bit grumpy towards the end. 

“Ok,” Greg had said, in his most firm teacher-voice. “Nothing here needs to be done that can’t wait til tomorrow. No arguments. To bed!” 

Still he wasn’t able to corral (his words, not hers) everyone to bed until at least two AM. And even then Maria had a hard time falling asleep. Too many thoughts floating around in her head, too many worries and… too much excitement. 

This was really happening.  _ Finally.  _

So maybe it was the jitters from excitement, but it was hard to focus on her breathing. The fact that she could not make out what they were saying made it somehow harder to tune out Alex and Greg’s voices.    
  
Michael shifted next to her, pressed his nose against her side and threw an arm around her waist. “God I hope it’s not about Flint,” he said, voice sleepily and muffled. Giving up on centering herself, she glanced down at her husband. All she could see was his unruly mop of curls, which she started petting almost immediately.    
  
“Why do you think it’s about Flint?” Maria asked.    
  
Michael shrugged, shifted just enough that one honey brown eye peered up at her. “What else do they have to fuss over but their douchey brother?” He paused, affected. “Well maybe their  _ other _ douchey brother.” 

She supposed that it’s not such a crazy notion for him to be drawn too. The Manes family has caused Michael and his family a lot of suffering. And though it had been years since those old feuds were settled--as well as they could ever be anyway--Michael would never completely let his guard down. Would always half expect some new Manes incited tragedy to occur.    
  
Maria slid her hand down to the nape of his neck and squeezed gently. Michael hummed in pleasure, body relaxing.

“I don’t think it’s about either Clay or Flint,” she said, squeezing the nape of his neck one more time before dragging her fingers back into his hair, scratching his scalp lightly. Michael sighed, pressed his face back against her hip. “It’s about whatever made Greg decide to come help us move in the first place.”

“You still think he’s worried about Alex?” Michael asked. They’d talked about it before, privately, since mentioning the strangeness of Greg’s offer to help move just got a dismissive shrug from Alex. They’ve also noticed that Greg has been calling more often. 

“Can’t deny Alex has been kind of… distant,” Maria said by way of agreement.    
  
“No I can’t.” Michael shifted enough so he could run his hand down her belly. “I haven’t seen him quite this closed off in ages.” 

“He’s not unhappy,” Maria reminded him, squeezed his neck again. She didn’t need to see his face to know he was worrying his lower lip.    
  
“I know,” Michael sighed. “Just conflicted. About the baby.”    
  
He moved again, flopped onto his back, starting up at the ceiling with an unhappy twist to his lips. “I wish he’d talk to me about it,” Michael continued. “I’ve tried reaching out. A lot. I know it’s at least partially about Jesse.”   
  
Maria nodded. “More than partially probably.”   
  
“A whole fucking lot,” Michael groaned and looked at her, a wry smile on his lip. “See I was right. It’s about an asshole Manes.” Maria grinned and bent over to kiss him, her belly only a slight annoyance. Not yet a hindrance. “It’s not like I haven’t had my fair share of shitty dads. I can relate.”   
  
Maria didn’t say anything. Just listened. Michael was just venting. Has vented about this many times before. So there was no point in reminding him that though he and Alex both have a history of child abuse, it was fundamentally different in one aspect: Michael had always known those people weren’t his parents. There was never the conflict of filial love. 

“Hopefully Greg will talk some sense into him,” Maria said during a lull in his rant. He hummed, wavering between accepting her wisdom and spiraling into worry. 

“Come on.” She patted his hip. “We can’t hide in here forever. Besides, I just heard Max’s voice, which means the gang’s all here.” 

Michael groaned, clinging to her and pulling back down so he could kiss her belly, her sternum, and then her lips. Maria laughed against his mouth, letting the kiss linger for a moment.    
  
“OK let’s go,” she said finally, slapping his rump when he didn’t release her. He kissed her once more before pulling away. 

“I guess we should get  _ moving _ .” He grinned at her. At least he did until she hit him with a pillow. 

* * *

Thankfully, Max brought donuts, bagels, and coffee. Michael seemed slightly mollified by the food and coffee, grabbing a cup and going to wrap an arm around Alex. They started going over the moving checklist.

“Did you check all the closets again?”    
  
“Yeah and bathroom cabinets.”   
  
“Good, I checked all the kitchen cabinets and Greg got the garage and closet.”

“Here.” Max nudged Maria, offering her a cup of coffee.   
  
“Can’t drink coffee,” Maria sighed, reaching for a jelly donut while she half listened to her boys.   
  
“Brought you decaf?” Max offered. 

Maria wrinkled her nose. Normally, she’d turn it up at the mere thought of decaf, but honestly right now she was going crazy, and she’d kill for even a trace amount of caffeine. “Fine.” Taking the offered cup, inhaling deep with a soft moan.    
  
Max smiled at her, squeezing her shoulder in support before turning his attention to Michael and Alex. “All right you two. Put something in your bellies. It’s gonna be a long day.”   
  
“You don’t have to nag,” Michael groused.    
  
“I don’t nag. I coordinate. Big brother prerogative.” Max grinned, pushing a pastry into Michael’s hands.   
  
“We’re the same age!” Michael huffed but he took it. Taking a grumpy bite, as if Bear Claws weren’t his favorites. He devoured it in two bites and reached for another one.    
  
“It’s a vibe,” Greg interjected, pushing a bagel towards Alex. “You too. You always forget to eat when you’re busy.” Alex at least didn’t argue. Just grabbed the sesame bagel and started smearing cream cheese over it. 

“There’s no vibe.” Michael grumbled with a full mouth.   
  
“You do kinda have a younger brother vibe, Guerin,” Maria said in between sips of coffee.   
  
“Only children aren’t allowed an opinion,” Michael said gruffly.    
  
“And thus is the end of Michael Guerin,” Alex said flatly. “Tragically killed for opening his big mouth.”   
  
“Hey!” 

“I’ll let him live.  _ This _ time,” Maria said, poking him. “But you’re on thin ice, Guerin.”

The movers arrived shortly after that and the next few hours were a blur, truth be told. Even though she couldn’t help with the heavier stuff, she still insisted on picking up smaller boxes and ferrying the more delicate items in her truck over to the ranch.    
  
Once there she took stock of the big empty house they were moving into. Or not entirely empty she discovered. The Smith’s had left behind some of their hideous furniture, it seemed. 

Maria stared at a horrible, multi-patterned tapestry chair, as if she could burn a hole in it with her eyes. And actually, that wasn’t a terrible idea. “... We’re burning it,” she said when the boys were bringing in the last of their stuff into the house. 

“Sure babe,” Michael said, tiredly putting down some boxes.

“Right now,” she said, going to pick it up, no matter how awkward it was, considering that the chair was not small, and her belly was just big enough to be annoying in this circumstance. “Come on. Time to exorcise the demons.” She probably sounded entirely too gleeful but, well, moving was horrible and the Smith’s furniture has been haunting her nightmares ever since she first laid eyes on this otherwise very nice house. She wasn’t going to let her first night here be tainted by their shit.

“Demons?” If she weren’t so damned annoyed over the chair, she’d tease Alex for the way he suddenly tensed and looked around the room like she was being literal. 

“That chair is hideous but it doesn’t have demons,” Greg said. 

“Well, it looks like someone died in it, or it killed someone with how ugly it is, so it’s definitely haunted.” Maria swatted Michael’s hands away as he tried to take it from her… but she did let him take the other side. “Come on. We’ll roast marshmallows over its corpse.”

“Wait wait!” Alex said. “Let’s look around for any more  _ gifts _ .” 

Michael actually rolled his eyes as they set the chair down again. “You know, this is a perfectly good chair, we could just re-upholster it…” 

“You can’t re-upholster ghosts, Michael,” Alex reminded him. Maria silently cheered in success. She knew mentioning spirits would get Alex on board with her little bonfire idea. 

Max looked bewildered. “I didn’t realize you guys were superstitious.” 

“We’re not. Alex just watches too many movies,” Michael said dryly, following Alex deeper into the house. Max trailing after him, giving Greg a bewildered look.    
  
“He’s always been like this,” Greg explained, amused. “Ever since mom and dad let him watch Poltergeist when he was six.” 

“Ah.” Max looked a little dubious. “Well, either way, you probably shouldn’t eat marshmallows you roast over that chair. Pretty sure that fabric is synthetic, it’ll definitely poison you.” 

Maria glared at him. She could feel worry spiking off of Michael. 

God, she was so happy to be having this kid, but she could not  _ wait _ to not be pregnant anymore. She was going to eat everything, just to spite the world. Even fucking plastic tained marshmellows. 

* * *

Along with the ugly chair, they’d also found a glass sphinx coffee table and a handful of horrible throw pillows, too. Though neither of those other things had the same haunted vibe as the chair. Greg had walked with her while she looked for any more gifts, asking questions that Maria felt were at least a little probing. Any other time, she would have called him out on it. Asked him to just spit it out. But there was just so much going on already! She didn’t  _ feel  _ like dealing with _ drama  _ right now.    
  
So they took everything they found outside, where there was a fire pit with a few benches around it. Surprisingly enough they weren’t ugly. But they weren’t that much to look at either. 

Alex started working on a fire while Max was on the phone, ordering pizza (he insisted even though really they owed him pizza) and Greg was popping beer bottles and handing them out to everyone. Maria took a non-alcoholic beer from Greg and channeled her hatred of it into the pillow that was destined for a slow smoldering death. 

“I guess this should take care of any ghosts,” Michael said dryly.    
  
“This house was too cheap not to have something wrong with it,” Alex pointed out.   
  
“Yeah the hideous decor,” Greg said. Even though the Smiths had taken the majority of their stuff with them, there were still a lot of ugly paint jobs, the weird Cornithian columns, and the terrible wallpaper to be contented with. Maria would have her work cut out for her with making this house presentable. 

Honestly, she couldn’t wait. All the stress was worth it. They were home. Now they just needed to make it  _ feel _ like home. She was excited about decorating with her family.    
  
“Yeah,” Alex agreed, and they all settled down on the benches around the pit… Michael, Alex, and Maria all squished up together, Michael between the two of them, staring at the fire with his tk-face, which probably meant he was somehow channeling the smoke away from them. Dork. 

Maria couldn’t help but be fondly exasperated. On the one hand, she didn’t really need the protection. On the other, she was sure that the smoke smelled pretty awful, and she wasn’t going to complain if he was determined to keep it out of her face.

It was a much-needed break. They were all exhausted, and no one seemed to want to do anything, for the moment. 

“Promise me something?” Alex asked, while they listened to the flames crackle. 

“Hm?” Michael asked, obviously distracted.

“On the off chance that this house actually  _ is _ haunted, we’re moving out the minute our kid starts seeing ghosts,” Alex said, dryly.

Maria snorted. She knew that was coming. 

Michael shifted, looking at Alex. “Are you kidding me?” 

Alex took a swig of his beer, shrugging his shoulders. 

“Too many horror movies,” Greg said quietly, obviously holding back a laugh. 

“Just enough,” Alex contradicted.

“You are one of the most intelligent and level headed people I know.” Michael looked pained. “Why the hell do you believe in ghosts?” 

“Because I’m fucking an alien,” Alex said flatly, clearly annoyed enough to not give a shit that Max and Greg were sitting right there looking somewhat scandalized.

“I mean he’s got you there,” Max said after a moment, smirking against the rim of his beer bottle. 

Maria almost fell over laughing. 

They stayed out there, trading more banter for a while, till the smoke and cold got annoying and the pizza was going to be there any minute. 

“Hey,” Maria caught Alex’s arm as they headed back inside, slowing down their pace so the others would go on ahead. “You said it.” 

“Said what?” Alex asked, taking her arm in his and covering her chilled hands with his own. Not as warm as Michael’s, but still welcome. 

“Our kid,” she said, softly, leaning against him.

“I...” Alex started, clearly not sure if he was supposed to feel defensive or not.

She suddenly worried that she shouldn’t have called attention to it. Kissing his cheek, gently, she said “come on, let’s go unpack our dishes.”

But Alex had stopped walking. She turned her attention back to him though he was looking out at the house. Not at her. She waited.    
  
“I know the kid is ours,” Alex said, expression briefly sour.    
  
“Ok?” Maria said, addressing his tone.   
  
Alex sighed. “Sorry. It’s just Greg’s been bugging me about it.  _ A lot _ .” 

“You guys were having a serious conversation this morning, couldn’t hear the details. I guess it’s about baby Yoda?”

Alex nodded, chuckling. “Don’t call them that unless you want them coming out looking like a big eared old man.”

Maria laughed and bumped her shoulder with his. He smiled.

If he finally wanted to talk about it, she wasn’t going to let the opportunity pass by. “Ok so Greg’s been bugging you? Is that why he’s been calling so much?” Alex nodded again. Maria squeezed his arm. “Honestly Alex, I can’t blame him for worrying.  _ We’re _ a little worried.” 

Alex didn’t give away anything that would indicate he was suddenly on edge. But she could tell nonetheless by the dark storm his aura had become. She paused, preparing herself for whatever response he might have to her next question. 

“Are you happy?” 

“Of course I am.” Alex was looking at her now. “You know I am. I know you do. You can sense it. Why are you asking me that?”   
  
“Because I can sense a lot of other things too,” Maria replied. “And some of those other things can chip away at happiness. Form into regret or--”   
  
“No.” Alex turned his entire body towards her now. “ _ No _ . It’s just--”    
  
“Don’t you dare say it’s a lot,” Michael interrupted. Probably having come out to look for them. They hadn’t even heard him approaching. 

“It is though,” Alex said.    
  
“Yeah for all of us,” Michael shot back. “But we’re still here, 100%.”    
  
“I mean you kind of have to be,” Alex said defensively. “It’s--”   
  
“Oh don’t you dare, Alex Manes,” Maria said frustrated, hurt. Smothering the urge to hit his arm.

Alex took a deep breath, exhaled. “I’m sorry. Hey I am. I didn’t mean it.” He touched Maria’s cheek when she just glared at him, reached out for Michael to. Drew him closer. “I’m an ass.”   
  
“You are,” Michael replied, voice flat, unhappy. “But you mean it. The baby’s ours not yours.” 

“I am invested,” Alex said and winced when Michael twisted his face in offense. Bad choice of words. “Not because I put money in the house… I mean sorta.” He released a sound of frustration. “Everything I’ve been doing is for  _ our  _ family.” 

“It’s ok to feel conflicted,” Maria said once she felt like she could get out her words without screaming. “But we’ve done everything we can to include you. We both think of you as a father. Not a ‘cool uncle’. We want you in the baby’s life. In our lives. And you say you do. But you just go about the motions while keeping your fucking distance and it fucking hurts.”

Alex chewed on his lower lip a little. “I guess a part of me is mourning our old lives. It was quieter and easier and I was happy. I was happy with just the three of us.”

Maria knew that. Honestly she felt the same way. They were good before the baby. Everything made more sense. Was less stressful. And yeah, she did mourn that life. The peace of it. The simplicity.  _ And _ she did feel somewhat guilty for uprooting their lives... 

Maria glanced over at Michael, she could see the same guilt coming off him in waves. But also like her, he was happy about the baby. Excited about this new chapter in their lives--the baby, The house--but also worried about Alex. 

Alex tugs them in a little closer. “Fucking hell I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention to hurt either of you. I love you both so fucking much. I just worry a lot but I’m not going anywhere.” He stared hard at them both until they nodded.    
  
“Ok…” Michael said softly.    
  
“I’m not,” Alex reiterated. “I’m just really stressed out about being a parent.” 

“Could have said something,” Michael said. “It’s not like we weren’t prompting you.”    
  
Alex shrugged. “You two have been so happy and I… didn’t want to burden you with my bullshit? Didn’t really want to burden myself with it either…”   
  
“Alex…” Michael sighed. Alex shook his head but Michael carried on. “If you didn’t want the baby…” He couldn’t even finish it.   
  
“That’s not what I mean,” Alex said, frustrated. “This is why I didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t lie when I said I wanted the baby. I didn’t just agree to make you happy. I do. Want it. I just… also have all these fucking concerns and I’m terrified and I didn’t want to throw that on you. You got enough--”   
  
“We--” Maria said, firmly, angry.    
  
Alex paused and nodded in the face of Maria’s glare. “We have so much going on…” He sighed. “Honestly I hoped that throwing myself into the logistics of buying a house and stuff would help me get over the doubt.” 

Maria was quiet. So was Michael. Both trying to figure out what to say next. How best to move forward.

“Look, I know it’s hard. You didn’t have a good dad, and you don’t have good associations with parenting.” Maria squeezed his shoulder. “But neither did either of us, remember? And just because I have a good mom doesn’t mean I’m any more confident about being a good one myself. So none of us have a map for this.”

“That’s the point of doing it together,” Michael said, softly. “Might be uncharted territory, but we won’t get too lost if we do it together.” He hesitated for a moment. “And for what it’s worth? I’m terrified, too.” 

Alex raised a slightly-skeptical eyebrow, but nodded slowly, “okay,” he said, letting out a slow breath. 

“Just talk to us Alex,” Michael added. “We can’t help when you’re this closed off.” 

Alex sighed again, not really looking at either of them. Maria couldn’t say all the doubt and concern disappeared from Alex, but his shoulders lost a little of the tension they’ve been carrying since the pregnancy was announced. There was more guilt now but Maria didn’t mind that. He needed to feel guilty. Maybe it’d keep him from being so dumb later on. 

Michael met Maria’s eye, still worried. And she couldn’t blame him. But… “Your aura does look a little clearer now,” Maria said to Alex. “See what talking about it with your partners can do for your stress?”

Alex rolled his eyes. “Rather get the massages Maria’s always getting,” he grumbled. 

“You can. If you ask.” Michael nudged him. “How’d you get so petulant?”   
  
“I learned it from you.” 

Maria smiled. She didn’t think this conversation was done. Not by a long shot. But it was a fucking start. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the first day at their forever home, Maria wakes up, surveys her property like a proper landowner and gives her boys a hard time about proper baby names.

Maria woke up on the air mattress, curled up against Alex, annoyingly cold because they were missing one Michael Guerin. They had placed the mattress in what would be Michael’s room and he had fallen asleep between them last night, as usual radiating a ridiculous amount of warmth. It was always a little disorienting to wake up without him, but she had a pretty good idea where he was right now. 

She had to pee -- she always had to pee now -- so she shifted to press a kiss to Alex’s cheek then rolled off of the air mattress, groaning as every muscle protested the movement. They needed their beds set up. Stat. 

A quick trip to the bathroom, and search through a box later, and she was wrapped up in an oversized mustard wool sweater she’d gotten for Michael that brought out the hints of green in his eyes. She probably wore it more than he did, but it still smelled like him, and it was super warm. In the kitchen, she quietly worked boxes open, found the one with their coffee and tea. She eyed the coffee, but put on a kettle for tea while she quietly unpacked a few kitchen essentials. The coffee pot, some mugs. She got a pot of coffee brewing for the men in the house-- _her_ _house_ , she thought giddily--but especially for Alex since he was bound to be a bit grumpy and sore from the move, and even grumpier about waking up on that cold air mattress, alone. 

There was a big window over the kitchen sink, which conveniently had a view out over the fields towards the barn. The door to it was open, which just confirmed her suspicions. Michael was out taking care of the horses. Of course he was. Michael Guerin got up early on his day off for no man, but he did for horses, apparently.    
  
Maria smiled softly to herself, idly rubbing her hand over her stomach while she waited for the water to heat up and the coffee to brew.

She grabbed the kettle just before it started to whistle, and hesitated over the mug she’d pulled down. Deciding instead to grab one of Alex’s insulated car tumblers, making her tea in that, and filling another one up with coffee for Michael. Might as well go survey her property like a proper landowner, she supposed. And the idea of catching Michael working in the barn was a definite plus, too.

She couldn’t believe that he even for a minute had considered fighting against it. Let alone how many times he did actually argue against the buy. 

“I mean it’s a gorgeous property,” Maria had said, sitting at the kitchen table with Alex while Michael worked on dinner. Michael had been subdued and quiet ever since they hopped back into their truck after viewing the ranch house. Letting Maria and Alex do all of the talking. Weird considering how happy and excited he’d been during the entire viewing. 

“Yeah,” Alex had said, handing her a mug of hot tea and sitting down with his own. “I want any room that faces the sunrise. It’ll be gorgeous.”   
  
“I think the kitchen faces east,” Maria replied. “It’ll be nice for those early morning coffees I’ll never have. But you boys should definitely enjoy it.”

“I don’t know, guys,” Michael finally spoke up. “Maybe we should look for something else. Something smaller?”   
  
Maria and Alex’s eyes had met, both of them frowning, and then they turned to look at Michael. He wasn’t looking at them. His back to them as he started the rice. 

“What? I thought you loved it?” Alex asked, exasperation coming off him in waves. 

“I do.” Michael had sighed. His shoulders tensed as if he was preparing himself for something unpleasant. Then he’d turned, to look at them. “It’s just… really expensive. I didn’t realize the animals were part of the deal. That just drives up the price even more… and I donno.”

Alex’s brows had furrowed. “Michael, we’ve got a big enough down payment that the mortgage will be manageable.” Alex sounded annoyed, like he was reading off a script because they’d been over this. Several times, in fact.

Michael had frowned, displeased. “Yeah I know…” 

She’d sighed internally -- not just over the unspoken but, but everything behind it. This was about Alex’s inheritance. Once Michael had accepted that Maria and Alex would be putting the bulk of the money upfront, his penchant for self sabotage had latched on to the source of Alex’s inheritance.    
  
Obviously Alex was thinking the same thing. He had become immediately more annoyed, shifting in his seat as if he was getting ready for a fight. And honestly, she couldn’t blame him. But even though Maria felt that a lot of Michael’s contention was really just a rouge for his anxiety and low self esteem, she also did understand where Michael was coming from.

“You don’t want to use Manes money,” Alex said, frowning. 

“Yeah,” Michael had agreed, after a little hesitation. He took a breath, it was his turn to read from the script. “Look, I know it’s just sitting there, and I know you guys want to put it to good use or whatever, but we shouldn’t have to fucking rely on Jesse fucking Manes’ money to pay for anything. It just feels wrong.” 

“Michael, he only had that money because my family exploited your people’s technology and bodies,” Alex had reminded, again. His tone was as weary as it was annoyed. 

“Blood money,” Michael almost growled. “You should understand how I feel about this. Both of you.”   
  
“Blood money spends just as good as any other money,” Maria had said while Alex just stared at Michael, nose wrinkled in distaste. He clearly didn’t care for the comparison. But there was more, Maria could see it in the way the colors of his aura flickered. He was conflicted, less about his feelings regarding his family’s involvement with alien suffering; and mostly about his own mixed heritage and how he should feel about it. He rarely ever talked about the latter, at least not with her. Hopefully with Greg. 

Maria could see the moment Alex started to compartmentalize again, saw the determination in his aura as clearly as she did on his face. Michael’s concerns were a problem Alex was trying to solve and he was looking for a new angle to approach from. 

“And at least it’s being put to use making you happy, Michael,” Maria continued in the space of their silence.

Alex had stood up and moved towards Michael, slowly. “Think of it as reparations.” Alex grinned, sly.

Michael hadn’t seemed amused though. “ _ You  _ don’t owe me anything, Alex.” 

“I owe you some things,” Alex said quietly, gently resting his hand on Michael’s back. “But this isn’t about us. The  _ American government _ owes you. Owes your whole family, and Maria’s too.” 

“Still waiting on my check for the whole slavery thing,” she’d agreed, dryly. 

That made Michael laugh softly, it came out half choked though but it was something. Alex took the opportunity to continue.    
  
“ _ And _ ,” he’d said, pressing close to Michael’s side since Michael didn’t pull away from his hand earlier. “Think about how pissed off dad would be that we’re making you happy with his money.”   
  
“Making each other happy,” Maria corrected. “His money is funding your queer poly lifestyle, Alex. The homophobic asshole is probably gonna do back flips in his grave.” 

Alex laughed. “Exactly. Because of his money, an alien gets to rail his son in a big fancy ranch house and then go out and take care of the horses.” Maria almost choked on her tea. 

Michael grumbled just a little more, but even he couldn’t argue with that logic. “Ugh. Fine.” He leaned over for a gentle kiss. “I cannot believe you just mentioned your father and getting railed in the same sentence.” 

Alex had smiled. “If you don’t think my joy over finally being able to be myself, be  _ with _ you, isn’t at least a little spiteful and vindictive than you don’t know me at all, Guerin.” 

“Every good dish needs a little bit of salt,” Maria pointed out.    
  
“Exactly.” Alex’s grin widened, catching Maria’s eyes. Appreciating how well she understood him.   
  
“Fucking Manes men.” Michael shook his head, exasperated. But he pressed a kiss to Alex’s hair and didn’t move. He was thinking, aura green from it, and all his negative feelings like weeds growing out of it. Michael wasn’t entirely sold. He was bitter and angry and would just as likely burn all that ill gotten cash as spend it.

But he wanted that house. 

“You sure it’s not too much though, with the horses?”

Maria definitely had not thought that horses were too much. Not when it meant seeing Michael riding, hopefully shirtless, around on them.    
  
“Nah, always wanted to learn how to ride,” Alex said, tilting his head for a kiss.

That had been the right thing to say, because Michael beamed. “Wait? You don’t know how?” Alex shook his head, fighting a smile. “How are you this deprived?” He asked, without waiting for an answer. “Seriously, you’re going to own a ranch, learning to ride is priority one. I’ll do research, see if there’s anything we need to worry about with your leg.” His excitement was infectious. Then he turned on Maria. “You know how to ride right?”   
  
“I do,” Maria said. “I’m rusty but I do.” 

“Good. Because I demand weekend rides with the whole family,” Michael said, excitedly. “And maybe camping trips when the weather’s right for it.”

“What am I getting us into?” Alex fake-groaned.

“We’re bringing the airstream for the camping right?” Maria asked. She was all for glamping. 

“ _ Maria _ ,” Michael had clearly been disappointed. 

“The last time I slept on the desert floor was when we went to Texas and I’d like to keep it that way,” she’d said dryly and that was getting close to ten years ago, now that she thinks about it. Everything that had happened since that night… felt longer. “I had sand in my hair for days.” 

“I will bring comfortable sleeping pads and plenty of blankets,” Michael argued

“Probably going to take more than that,” Maria said, reaching out for him. “But I’ll think about it.”

Pulling Alex with him, Michael closed the distance between the two of them. He took her hand and kissed it.

“You know he’s just going to sicc your child on you to convince you when they’re old enough,” Alex said, dryly.

“Shhh,” Michael said. “Don’t give away all my tactics.” 

“Michael Guerin,” Maria began, fondly cupping his cheek, “you are the least sneaky person I have ever met. Don’t think for a moment that I’m unaware of your tactics.”

In response, all he did was kiss her. 

\---

Tumblers in hand, Maria stepped out of the house and walked towards the barn. The mornings were still a little crisp but spring was definitely coming, she could see the green just starting to dust over the fields, faintly starting to turn them. And she couldn’t wait. Couldn’t wait to start her garden with Michael. She was so happy to be able to share this hobby with him. To work together to help things grow, and to cover their home in flush green plants and beautiful vibrant flowers. They’ve already discussed a bit the kinds of things they’d like to grow. There were windowboxes that hadn’t been tended to in years, and plenty of room on their porch for a container garden. And maybe they could train some wisteria to grow over the porch pergola. It could take years, but they weren’t going anywhere. 

She finally found Michael in one of the stalls, humming a little under his breath as he worked a brush over a brown horse’s shoulder while it nosed at his pocket. She had no idea what kind of horse it was - honestly they all looked the same - but god damn if the pride swelling up in her throat didn’t take her breath away for a moment.

And the love. Michael was always beautiful, but he was gorgeous like this, morning light filtering in and catching in his curls and the coat of the horse. She could just stare at him all day. But if she did that, his coffee would get cold. 

“Hey, cowboy,” she said, gently, as she leaned on the stall door. Hoping that she didn’t spook him or, god forbid, the horse. 

He looked up, smiling softly. He looked so relaxed and at peace. Her heart felt so full. “Morning babe,” he said, brushing the horse once more before going over to kiss Maria over the door.

“Morning. Figured you’d like some coffee?” She shook the tumbler enticingly. 

Michael laughed. “Getting married was the best idea I ever had.”

“I think I’m the one who proposed to you.” She chuckled. 

He shushed her, leaning in for another kiss, before slipping out of the stall and firmly latching the gate behind him.

“Working hard?” Maria asked, glancing over at the horse searching the ground for food. 

Further down the barn, she could see six other curious equine heads poking out over their stalls. Some even whinnying for attention.

“Just getting them used to me.” She’d seen many different smiles on Michael. This one was just a little different. A lot like the one he had every time they talked about the baby.    
  
“Not giving you any guff are they?” She asked, mock serious. “Should I give them a talking too?” 

He ducked his head a bit, scuffing a boot over the ground, his smile widening. “Nah. They’re good girls.”

“They’re all girls?” Maria asked, surprised. She probably should have known that already.    
  
“Yeah better for riding lessons too,” Michael said, glancing back at the horses. “C’mon let me introduce you. The bay I was just with is Clevel--”   
  
“Nope.”   
  
“What?”   
  
“That’s a terrible name. Are all the names terrible? All the names are probably terrible. We should just rename them all.” Maria nodded with decision, meeting his amused face. “They’re ours now anyway.”    
  
“Yeah, you’re right.” He put his arm around her shoulder and tugged her deeper into the barn. “Still gotta meet them. Best way to figure out a good name for these fine ladies is to get to know them.” 

“Wait, you don’t mean...” she started, eyes going wide. “Michael I don’t need to go in with them. I can appreciate them from a distance.” He was still pulling her forward, inexorably. “I’m not wearing the right shoes!”

“I mucked all the stalls this morning, and we’re not going in, so your shoes are fine. And you’re lucky too. Why would you wear those shoes to a barn?” He added unsympathetically. She wasn’t getting away. 

The next horse was also bay and was, according to Michael, a Morgan and it looked at her with such soulful brown eyes that her apprehension melted. Though when she realized that Maria had no food, she became quite disinterested and somehow that made Maria like this horse even more. The rest of the horses were Quarter Horses of varying colors--a Blue Roan, a couple Buckskins, a brownish-red Sorrel, which she just thought of as your basic horse model, and... 

“This one is a palomino,” Michael said, as he got Maria to the last stall. The horse, like all the others, poked her head over the stable door, nosing at Maria and Michael, zeroing straight in on Michael’s pockets. More insistent than the others, and Michael chuckled 

“She’s um...” Maria felt ridiculous hesitating over this. Was she trying to be careful of the horse’s feelings? “...fat.” 

Michael laughed. “Pregnant,” he grinned at Maria. “Probably going to foal within the month.” He reached to unzip his pocket, pulling out a handful of oats. “Wanna feed her?” 

“I...” Maria began. She hadn’t been around a horse since she was maybe 17. But this was  _ her  _ horse so she’d better get comfortable with them again. “Ok.” She held out her hand. Michael placed the oats on her palm and tugged her fingers straight. Maria rolled her eyes a little. She remembered that much, at least, but let him teach her nonetheless, because he was being adorable right now. 

She’d forgotten how soft their muzzles were and how gross it was to feed them by hand. But she ignored it and took the opportunity that the mare was busy eating to pet her soft nose. “Can’t believe she’s pregnant,” Maria said.    
  
“The universe wants to surround me with babies and I am all for it.” Michael grinned, petting the palomino’s neck. 

“You. Are. Ridiculous,” Maria chuckled, poking Michael’s side. “Are you done? I know you were brushing the one down there? Another Morgan right?”   
  
“Yup!” He beamed. “And this is the last one. You want to help me? You can brush her while I check her shoes?”    
  
“I think I can do that.” 

Michael grabbed a halter and lead and went to get the palomino out of her stall, insisting that it was safer, bringing her out into a grooming stall. Maria decided not to argue, staying out of the way and watching as he got her situated. 

Eventually, Michael was going to get the brushes, explaining which ones to use and when. After a brief explanation of proper grooming and safety, Michael let her get down to business while he grabbed a hoof pick.

And that was how Alex found them. He’d put on his prosthetic but his hair was still not combed and he still looked sleep rumpled and sleepy. But not cranky even given the (for him) early hour. 

“Food up at the house. I’m sure you’re hungry,” he said, without preamble, though he kissed Maria on the cheek, since she was on the closer side of the horse, which he looked at with wary respect. “Greg put together a breakfast casserole.” 

“Look at you both, playing house spouse.” Michael chuckled.

“Who’s playing?” Alex shot-back, good natured.

Maria smiled, catching Alex’s hand and resting it on the palomino’s coat, smooth and warm. “We’re renaming the horses. Maybe we should all pick some and vote? I figure you’re gonna want to have a bunch of nerdy names.” 

Alex scoffed, but he didn’t deny it. Staring at the horse, his hand on her for a moment. “Come on. Food’s gonna be ready soon and it’s not nearly as good cold.”

“Ok, just let me get her back in her stall,” Michael said.    
  
Maria and Alex stepped back towards the entrance to wait for Michael to finish with the mare.    
  
“She’s pregnant right?” Alex asked.    
  
“Yup.” Maria still couldn’t believe it. What are the odds?   
  
“Khalessi,” Alex suggested. “Pregnant with the Foal That Will Mount the World.”   
  
“That is… a mental image.” Michael said, dryly, dusting off his hands as he joined them.

“What would you name her?”   
  
“I was thinking we could name them all after female scientists,” Michael said with a soft smile. “Seems like a good example for our kid.”

Maria just melted a little. Imagining him telling their child all about scientists he admired. Adorable.   
  
Alex rolled his eyes, laughing. “Of course you would.”

“Better than fictional people.” Michael used his powers to close the barn doors behind them.    
  
“I strongly disagree.” Alex snorted. They started to make their way back towards the house.    
  
“So do I have to be pregnant with a horse to get this much interest in baby names out of you?” Maria asked.    
  
“You won’t let me name them Ahsoka!” Alex replied. “That’s it. I’m tapped.”    
  
“You are not tapped.” 

“You already know my suggestions,” Michael protested lightly, too. And she did. He was pretty set on Nora for a girl, Walt for a boy, and as much as she appreciated his sentimental streak, he didn’t have much imagination beyond it. 

“I think we can all work  _ together _ on this.” She shook her head, fondly. “Maybe you two can work on finding something slightly less nerdy and slightly less 50s after breakfast while I clean up.” 

“He’s just going to switch from  _ Star Wars _ to  _ Buffy _ ,” Michael said as they walked into the house. 

“ _ Buffy _ ’s great,” Greg said, clearly missing the context of the conversation. “I was just coming to get you guys. Casserole’s ready.” 

They hadn’t gotten around to placing the table in the kitchen yesterday, instead leaving it in the living room to be dealt with later. At least Alex or Greg had moved the boxes that had been piled on top of it so they could eat. Fresh plates and silverware had also been dug out, and the casserole was sitting in the middle of the table. Easy for them to settle around it. And Greg had even thought to have a fresh carafe of coffee there -- mostly for Alex. 

They took their time eating, mostly talking about renovation plans for the house and about the horses. Greg at least knew how to ride. But he admitted to having learned just a few years prior. 

“Well at least someone will be able to keep up,” Michael said, lightly poking Maria.    
  
Maria rolled her eyes. “Maybe you should take Greg horseback camping with the kid and I can stay home.” Maria stood up, starting to clean up the table. “Dads and uncle trip.”    
  
“Family trip,” Michael said firmly. “Greg is welcome but you’re required.” 

Maria groaned, but it was good-natured. “On one condition -- you and Alex give me a list of  _ normal _ baby names you like. Minimum 10 between you.” 

“Ah, that’s why you mentioned  _ Buffy _ earlier,” Greg guessed. “That’s a terrible name Alex.”

“I wasn’t going to suggest the name Buffy _ ,”  _ Alex said, offended. “Kid’s not going to be white enough for that. However, Drusilla could be fun.”    
  
Honestly this is how Alex had been avoiding being involved in naming the baby. By offering up all the abnormal fictional character names he could think of when asked. It always derailed the conversation and he could sneak off without offering up anything useful. Maria was not having it anymore, especially not after last night’s conversation.  __

“Try to come up with a non-monster name, babe,” Maria said, lightly. “And Michael, I love you and I love your mother, but maybe some  _ non-alien _ suggestions from you too please? You two can brainstorm while you put together the beds.” Giving them a serious look. Though part of this was just a ploy. She wanted to talk to Greg. Alone. Without raising Alex’s hackles.

Greg was laughing. He was trying not to, hand firmly pressed over his mouth. But he was failing miserably. 

Michael grumbled softly. “Fine, fine,” he agreed and nudged Alex. “Orders have been given. Let’s get to it.”   
  
“Since when has Maria been  _ my  _ C.O.?” Alex demanded, though he was standing up.    
  
“Since always,” Mara said, giving him a slap on the rump as she went by with the dirty mugs.    
  
Alex just rolled his eyes but followed Michael out of the living room.    
  
“I’ll help,” Greg said to Michael but Maria intercepted.   
  
“Can you just help me with these dishes first, Greg?”    
  
“Oh sure!” Greg said. 

Maria waited until they got all the dirty plates back into the kitchen. She wasn’t just waiting for her boys to get out of earshot, she was also trying to figure out how to bring up the subject of Alex to Greg. But he beat her to it in the end.    
  
“It’s always like pulling teeth with Alex about the baby stuff?” He half-asked half stated, glancing towards the door as if expecting Alex to materialize suddenly, glowering. Boy, did Maria get that feel. 

“Yeah,” Maria said. She caught his eyes. “I know you’re worried, but we do try to include him, Greg. All the time. He keeps his distance.”   
  
Greg was quiet for a moment. “I was trying to be subtle yesterday,” he said, looking a little guilty.    
  
“Psychic,” Maria said, pointing at herself.   
  
“I didn’t mean to--”   
  
Maria shakes her head, waving away his attempt at apology.    
  
“You’re worried about him, I get it,” Maria said. “And I’m the last person to blame you for it. We are too.” 

“I had a feeling.” Greg sighed, started loading the dishwasher. “But it’s good to hear you say it anyway.” 

Maria wished she could just focus on clean up, enjoy the fact that she had a dishwasher again. Not have this awkward talk about her emotionally constipated partner with his brother. 

“We asked him last night if he had regrets,” Maria said quietly. “He said no.” She’s looking at Greg now. She knows Alex wasn’t lying last night. But… even after all this time, Alex was hard to read... or maybe his ambivalence had been affecting her more than she realized. Making her doubt her ability to read him. 

“He doesn’t,” Greg said, straightening up, meeting her eyes. He exhaled loudly, leaning against the counter and glanced back towards the door. She could tell he was trying to make a decision about something. “I feel like a shit brother admitting this but I’m really worried he’s going to ruin this for himself.” He was looking at her with concern now. 

Maria had to pick her words carefully. “Look, we love him, and that’s not going to change,” she paused for a moment. “But I’m worried too. I’m worried because we’re going to have an  _ amazing _ kid, and I don’t want him to miss out on that. I don’t want him to pull that bullshit where he thinks that making money to support us is the equivalent of being a dad.”

Greg nodded, thoughtful. Going to put more coffee on, since Alex had drained the rest. It seemed almost like he just needed something to do with his hands. “Yeah. I know it’s hard, having the baggage of our father…”

Maria let out a frustrated breath. “Hard maybe, but I’ve never known Alex to shy away from a challenge. And Jesse Manes is done fucking with our lives.” 

“No he’s not,” Greg said quietly, anger spiking through his generally calm aura. Maria was used to the strong emotions Jesse Manes’ name elicited in Alex but she’d never seen anything like Greg’s rage. It was sudden and powerful, and still so fresh. Like it was nurtured. She had to take a moment, let it wash over her and away. 

“What I mean is, I’m done letting him get in the way. He’s taken enough from Alex. From all of us. I’m not letting him take this away. The man’s dead, for chrissake.” She shook her head, frustrated. “I just don’t know how to get through to Alex.” 

Greg nodded, mostly indicating that he was listening. But he didn’t speak, still working on making more coffee. Trying to shove back his anger into its box, she thinks. Compartmentalizing. She wonders if it’s the same with Flint and Clay. Hatred and violence and compartmentalizing any other feelings were the only things Jesse Manes taught those boys. 

God, she hated him too. 

“Alex is stubborn,” Greg said. “You know it’s hard to make him do anything.” 

“I know.” Maria groaned. Ugh, she would kill for one of those coffees. Pour a little Bailey’s in it. But she didn’t, she reached for the kettle and made herself some more tea. “But I’m running out of ideas. So if you’ve got any bright ones...” 

Greg was silent for a while again, long enough that the water in the kettle started to boil. Thinking. 

“Our mom’s side of the family... there’s traditions.” He started, tentatively. “Alex hasn’t really been involved in years, but when we were kids he liked them.” 

“Baby-related?” Maria tried not to latch onto the idea too hard. This would have to be Alex’s choice, after all. 

Greg nodded. “Kinda why I suggested you guys come up for the Pow Wow… Get some stuff for your baby and nudge him about a couple things.” He left it vague on purpose, she could tell, and she didn’t care, at all.

Maria honestly could have kissed him. “ _ Thank _ you,” she said instead, reaching to squeeze his arm. “If it helps, Michael and I can wander off? Give you some time to talk?”

“Yeah.” He grinned, conspiratorially now. “Absolutely. I had been planning on pointing you towards the jewelry and Michael towards the food.” 

“You know us well,” Maria laughed. “I also need maternity clothes.” Her clothing was starting to get tight. She was having to resort to wearing joggers and loose shirts, which though comfortable were not cute. Maria liked to look her best, even when she was stressed. No,  _ especially  _ when she was stressed. 

“I know a couple clothing sellers who’ll be there. I’ll let them know to bring some stock,” Greg nodded.   
  
“You’re the best,” Maria said, meaning more than just the clothes.    
  
“What are big brothers for?” Greg smiled, taking her hand and squeezing it. “For what it’s worth, I do think he’s excited. But he just won’t  _ let  _ himself be, if that makes sense?” 

“No I get it,” Maria said. “It’s hard not take it personally though.”   
  
“Hey I understand.” Greg nodded, sympathetically.    
  
“And there’s just so much going on with the move and the pregnancy and psychic backlash from everyone’s feelings...” Maria stopped herself. She took a shuddering breath. The emotions had just sort of come up like morning sickness. She wiped a little at the corner of her eyes. 

“I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you don’t have a lot of people to vent to?” Greg asked.

Maria nodded. Trying to shake off the excess of emotion. “I mean, there’s Liz. But she’s so busy with the twins and I don’t really want to burden her with all this  _ all _ the time.” 

Greg put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. “You sound like Alex,” he whispered, accusatory, in her ear. 

“Oh fuck you,” Maria chuckled, a little wetly. “But, I mean, there is a reason why the three of us get along. We are all stubborn assholes.”    
  
“I wasn’t going to say it quite like that.” He squeezed her shoulder. “Well you know, you can always call me. Or, you know, bother Liz. I bet even Isobel would let you yell in a pinch.” 

Maria screwed her face up, giving him a  _ look _ , and Greg laughed, holding his hand up. “My point is, you’re not alone.”

Maria nodded, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. She didn’t bother telling him that he sounded a lot like Max. Maybe it was a big brother thing. It was kind of nice, having a couple big brothers, she thinks. For so long it was just her and her mom and now… she had such a big family, and about to get bigger. It was nice. More than nice.    
  
So she wasn’t going to let Alex fuck it up. For either of their sakes. 


End file.
